My husband and I have been on in a rocky relationship for ten years, five of them are married years. We have our good days and our bad days. It seems as though our moods change towards each other when we have sex. We are happy with each other leading up to sex, and soon afterwards he finds some way to provoke an argument, that usually leads me to feel as if the connection we had before was either lost during or after sex. I'm not sure if maybe it's because the sex wasn't good for him, or maybe he feels rotton about something he's hidden deep down. I just don't know. I'm 28 and my husband is only one out of the two sexual partners i've ever had. Maybe I just don't have the right connection with my husband, or maybe we really don't have much of a connection at all. Any advice would be nice. I'm on the verge of just giving up on our relationship completely.

Hmmm... well there could be a lot of things going on there. How is your relationship any other time when you are not even thinking about sex? Are you happy overall? One thing could be the fluctation in testosterone which happens during and after sex. That can seriously affect a man's mood. Or, it could be a habitual pattern. Maybe something that started and he unknowingly does out of habit? Or, as you said, something could be bothering him mentally. Does he usually initiate sex or do you? Is your sex pretty regular without much change as far as positions or creativity? If it is, then you might try to spice things up. Make things different. Have sex in different places. And then afterwords, try to engage in something positive together. Something you both enjoy doing. This might help to either break the pattern of negativity afterwards or at least take his mind off whatever is bothering him.