Is It Just Me Or All / Most Men?

**PacE** · 06-07-2010 02:02 PM

Hi All,
My partner (F) and I (M) were discussing our sex life and various issues with it. One of the things she commented on was my attitude when my advances were spurned. She stated I huff / puff / sulk etc. and this annoys her.

I know there are many reasons as to why she probably doesn't want to make love, tiredness, health, time of day and the right to say no and I too have the right and also experience tiredness and other issues but I don't reject her as I like to make the effort. Plus when she tries to seduce me it makes me feel wanted.

Admittedly, I do feel down / upset when I get rejected, especially as I may have been told throughout the day that we'll have an 'early night' or the other signs that you pick up on.

But is it just me or do all/most men suffer with the rejection part? I've tried to research on Google but in the main it seems to be women have more of a problem with being rejected by men, not the other way around.

TIA

PacE

**Futureboy** · 06-07-2010 02:48 PM

I dont think I get huffy. I can be quite perswasive without being pushy.

If you are the only one to initiate, which is not uncommon by my experience, sometimes it feels like you are taking and not giving, which I find hard to deal with. I always want my SO to want me and 'it' no feel like she's doing her duty.

My only advice is start very sutble foreplay earlier she should give you the signals that she's not (or is)interested. And and early night can just mean she's tired.

**Joey** · 06-07-2010 03:19 PM

in my relationship, if any one is going to be 'rejected' from sex its me. LOL!!
I have a high sex drive, and i am aways ready and waiting for it.
We both make moves on each other for sex - but if anyone is to say no for 'tiredness' or 'headaches' it would be him.

**Thomas Hepburn** · 06-07-2010 03:34 PM

Yes men do often feel like this. Maybe you should reject her advances just once so that she knows what it feels like. Then maybe she will understand and you can both sit down and talk openly about it. Unless of course your advances are too often or unreasonable. No relationship works well when one partner is in total control of the amount of sex.

**rhiannon34** · 06-07-2010 07:37 PM

I have 2 kids, one is a teeneager and one in his terrible 2's, a full time job, a jerk of an ex husband, and a great boyfriend. On any given day I have enough stress and drama to make Mother Theresa have a potty mouth. We still have a great sex life, but when I don't feel like doing it, it has nothing to do with him. And he is always very sweet about it. Now my ex husband argued with me about our sex life daily. DAILY. The more he argued the more I did not want to do it. It does suck when you are doing the best you can being everything to everybody, and your SO gets huffy because you don't have enough energy at the end of the day to bang his brains out. But becxause my bf is so gracious and patient, I want to that much more.

**Mes T** · 06-07-2010 07:47 PM

Originally Posted by rhiannon34

I have 2 kids, one is a teeneager and one in his terrible 2's, a full time job, a jerk of an ex husband, and a great boyfriend. On any given day I have enough stress and drama to make Mother Theresa have a potty mouth. We still have a great sex life, but when I don't feel like doing it, it has nothing to do with him. And he is always very sweet about it. Now my ex husband argued with me about our sex life daily. DAILY. The more he argued the more I did not want to do it. It does suck when you are doing the best you can being everything to everybody, and your SO gets huffy because you don't have enough energy at the end of the day to bang his brains out. But becxause my bf is so gracious and patient, I want to that much more.

This... is a fantastic post.

Thanks for sharing!

**stressed** · 06-07-2010 09:27 PM

My SO can't stand rejection, he sulks as soon as a sign of "no" is in the air, even before I say it and even if it only used to happen once or twice per year. Now it's more frequent as, like Futureboy said, when something is one-sided it is hard to deal with and you have to show the other what it feels like.

I haven't turned down sex though, more like other favours like a massage or something like that. When I say "later" or "in a while" for sex it only makes him want to have it more and he comes up with a trick to make me want it. But he can't take rejection when I'm serious about it. He can remember it forever.

**rcoreyus** · 06-07-2010 11:09 PM

I think most people get unhappy when they are turned down. It is a very personal form of rejection.

**cuff** · 06-07-2010 11:14 PM

It's normal, I think it's our egos talking sometimes. I've been in similar situations where the talk of sex was early in the day, then later that night her desire is gone because of a crappy day at work or whatever. For me as a man, I can have a horrible day and still want sex that night. For a woman, it can ruin things. Even though I understand the two things are connected with her, I still get frustrated.