Thread: my boyfriend secretly put me on video chat help!

Originally Posted by saturn71188

"He has literally, there and then, treated you as a piece of sexual meat and nothing more."
That is actually so far from the truth, and from my story I could understand how one would think that but he has always been very loving and passionate, which is why I was so shocked that this happened. I have known him for 7 years now and I know he's not a bad person. When I was shooting heroin with my ex he was the only friend that stuck by me and continued to try and help even when I wanted nothing more than to use drugs.
And after waking him up at 2:30 am last night and yelling at him for a while telling him that I wasn't going to just forget about it and he will have to recognize what he has done was horrible and give me time to get over it as well as never do anything along these lines again of course. To which he has said I know how terrible is was and I wasn't really thinking about it I just acted on the impulse, since I am a recovering addict I know a thing or two about impulses. I know in my mind and heart that he is a good person, just slightly damaged from sexual abuse and losing his father in a car crash at age 8...maybe that seems to have nothing to do with sex but everything that has ever happened to us molds us into the current version of ourselves we are today. I was in an abuse relationship with my ex and I can't even compare the two. He isn't a good person because my ex was so terrible for me. I could see the hurt and regret in his eyes and hear it in his voice when he was telling me I should leave him.
He told me today "I am going to make it up to you" and i'm ready to give him a chance.

I personally feel that my comment was very justifyable. You say its so far from the story, but i was refering to your first one, the inital one - the one where he has put you online and disrespected you and your feelings in the process.

when you first posted, you seemd very concerned and quite literally pissed off with what he did - which you are entitled to be because what he did was pretty much disgusting. I now worry that you are more defending his actions through guilt, more then logic. yeah, seeing the hurt and regret in his eyes are one thing - but does he truely mean it.

Ultimately it is up to you what you do. I admire you for giving him another chance. just make sure you are doing this for you - and not because hes pulling a puppy dog 'im so sorry' face.

I can admit that there is a chance I'm making a mistake and because of my low self-esteem I allow men to abuse and take advantage of me, and I don't want anyone to think this advice was a waste of time because i'm giving him another chance. I'm thankful because I know now that i'm not being overly sensitive or uptight and if he ever does anything like this again I will walk away and never look back. I do know that he's not a bad person, but if something along these lines happens again clearly he can't handle a relationship. I think another reason I am so forgiving is because I don't really have anyone else in my life right now that loves me. My family is very distant from each other and has their own issues and even though i'm clean now for over a year I never got my friends back because of my addiction.