Thread: Love my man, but he can't get me aroused. Passion problem? Vibrator problem? Help!

lesbian porn is exciting to a lot of men for several reasons. There is so much to look at. A lot of men are somewhat turned off by seeing other naked men - this avoids that. It also shows women who are enjoying sex with each other - suggests that women really do like sex. A lot of men have experience with women who don't like sex and seem to do it just as a "duty" for their SOs. It can also be educational - presumably women might know more about pleasing each other than a man would.

Originally Posted by rcoreyus

Practice practice practice
Seriously though, it sounds like he is willing to learn, so give him lots of encouragement. Maybe let him help while you are doing yourself? You will both enjoy it if he learns to please you better.

Good advice. I will definitely give that a try

Originally Posted by stressed

May I ask, why? Is it their bodies or what they do? Can you try to incorporate men in the porn you watch and find what would arouse you?

I personally think watching homosexual porn can affect sex and fantasies. If you need to watch homosexual porn before having sex with your man to enjoy it, then something may not be as you think it is. I could be wrong, but if my man watched gay porn before having sex with me I wouldn't be happy about it...

I think it has more to do with seeing a woman enjoying herself. Most porn I've watched is more like, oh here's these girls, and they're trying to do everything they can to make the guy crazy, and obviously acting (and often poorly), and it's all MALE-focused. Not very exciting for me as a female. My husband and I both enjoy watching the girl on girl porn though, and he has told me he has absolutely no problem with me enjoying it. I figure, since it works, and it's not harmful to either me or my husband, I won't question it, and I'll just keep enjoying it.

I've been thinking a lot about it lately, and realized something about myself. While I definitely get aroused watching girls being aroused, I am also very aroused by men. The difference I've noticed is that with women, I look at their *female anatomy* but when I'm checking out a guy, it's his eyes/face/chest I'm looking at. I don't know why this is, or what it has to do with anything, but it's a personal observation that I thought might tie into this conversation.

For the record, when I have fantasies, they are almost all about a guy. I enjoy watching girls fooling around, but not so much when putting myself in a sexual situation in my mind.

Originally Posted by rcoreyus

lesbian porn is exciting to a lot of men for several reasons. There is so much to look at. A lot of men are somewhat turned off by seeing other naked men - this avoids that. It also shows women who are enjoying sex with each other - suggests that women really do like sex. A lot of men have experience with women who don't like sex and seem to do it just as a "duty" for their SOs. It can also be educational - presumably women might know more about pleasing each other than a man would.

I know you're writing this about *men* but to be honest, I am not very arouse by seeing a naked man. Shirtless, yes, definitely. But seeing that just doesn't turn me on.

People vary a LOT in what interests them sexually. The existence of "she-male" porn (male genitals with breasts and a female-looking face) suggests that some people are excited by unusual combinations of things. Even within in a "group" like lesbians, some will like pretty women, others "butch". Some gay men like thin young men, others like muscles. Some people are excited by feet or other normally non-sexual body parts.

What it all boils down to is that if you like male faces and female genitals, enjoy watching women enjoying themselves, but fantasize about men: you are no more unusual than a lot of people.

I wouldn't worry about what you find interesting to watch - just think about what you can do to make your sex life with your spouse more enjoyable. If you are both happy watching lesbian porn together - then great, have fun.

I understand what your going through, im only 18, but me and my boyfriend are having the same problem, no matter what he does i just cant seem to get aroused, if you figure anything out on how to help please tell me , im desperate to fix me and my boyfriends situation. :[[[

First of all, you are addicted to the extra stimulation. You have to atleast limit yourself with the vibrators, movies, and other toys to say once a month. Your reliance on these things has taken away your interest in having sex with your husband. I agree a lot of it is mental but the toys are a dependency issue. Let go of them and eventually the real thing will get better. I used to have the same problem. If you like it dirty them guide him into a fantasy. Believe me, you think they should know what you want after all that time but they dont. Good Luck!