Sexual frustration is becoming too much

**katta87_2005** · 06-29-2010 03:57 PM

I've only been with my fiance for 7 months, but he's the perfect guy for me. Our relationship isn't perfect but it's by far the best one i've ever been in, except when it comes to sex. Our sex life is horrible! He works on an oil rig and is gone 7 days and home 7 days so I'm constatnly needing to sqeeze everything into one week (while he's at work i'm lucky to talk to him 15min a day) We've both had our share of sexual parnters and i'm very comfortable with my body and very open to new things and generally not shy when it comes to sex, i've also never had a problem with my libido, acheiving an orgasm or being sexually frustrated.

My fiance is a very man's man who likes to say he's not like any other guys which I thought was a boost but its true, porn does nothing for him (which I sometimes like to watch with my partner to get the mood going) he also will have nothing to do with anal, isn't very good with his hands or mouth and has this little control issue which drives me nuts; he likes to with hold sex from me if i'm really into it and he's not (he thinks its some sort of game, but it just hurts my feelings) He's better about that now then in the past but I think more because i've developed a mental block against getting horny so the majority of the time I let him start everything.

He also is a 30 sec man, even with a condom it lasts less than 3 min. He has gotten better about "helping me out" after he comes (he goes limp almost immeditely) but I do most of the work, I've gotten used to it and so I dont' mind too much cause at least I get a release but it's starting to make him feel "less of a man". We have almost no foreplay because that makes him cum even faster and he's only gotten me off once by eating me out. I try to give him little pointers but he just doesn't really listen to them. I love him so much and most of the time I can just put this on the back burner but occasionally we both get extremely frustrated by it and I'm at a loss of what to do. I'm scared the longer it goes on the more it will start affecting more aspects of our relationship.

**jns** · 06-29-2010 09:33 PM

He sounds selfish and controlling. What is it about him that you like? What keeps you going further in this relationship?

**bubbles** · 06-29-2010 09:42 PM

im sure that theres alot, sex is one part. But a big part, and can be very frustrating!

**LilahX** · 06-29-2010 10:21 PM

He most certainly needs to deal with his PE (premature ejaculation). Only he can do this and he may need to see someone or at least do lots of reading about but he first needs to admit he has a problem. From how you describe him, I doubt he thinks there is anything wrong. Also if he's not good with his mouth and hands he needs to learn that too! Sorry, but he doesn't sound like much fun in the sack and as much as you may love him this will eventually lead to resentment on your behalf which is a fast road to killing a r/ship.

You need to talk to him, quietly and non-judgementally but if he's not willing to work on things then then you're doomed to an unsatisfactory sex life. As JNS says, he is selfish, nothing is more clear. His problems are something you can both work on, but he has to admit there is a problem.

Good luck!