Thread: My partners over sex drive is killing us in need of advise please!

that's really helpful thanks :-)

he doesn't wank so it's my job to do the business is it normal for a guy to never wank? He says it doesn't work for him,

I think what the OP is saying is that while every 3 days may be normal for them, when she doesn't have sex with him he suffers from insomnia.

IMO, every 3 days for a couple that has been dating for 2 years is pretty normal. Honestly even my happiest of couple friends don't have sex that often. I'm finding that alot of people talk about sex sex sex, but when it comes down to it, they're not doing it every day either. And just because you only have sex every 3 days, doesn't mean you don't feel horny or want sex more often, but perhaps your schedule doesn't cooperate, or perhaps you're exhausted from work and choose sleep over sex.

Now....in a sense I feel like he's just sort of punishing you for not sleeping with him. Because if he wanted to get off THAT bad, he'd seriously go do it himself. IMO he wants you to give in and his way of showing you that is lying "suffering" at night while you leave him "unsatisfied". "Wanking" is the first thing guys learn when it comes to sex. It may not be the preferred method of satisfaction, but if this insatiable horniness is truly something he cant help, then he'd be taking care of it on the days you didn't.

I dunno, it's sort of like when you're younger and making out with a guy and he says "oh it hurts so bad, I have blue balls now, if you don't get me off I'm going to be in pain!". Really? Seriously? I think not. So yeah, of course he says he doesn't like to jack the rabbit but come on.....why lay there and keep you and your partner both from any rest just because you have a hard on?!?!?!

I'm not good about having my sleep interuppted. You're a better lady than I..........

Originally Posted by Miss hellen-louise

he doesn't wank so it's my job to do the business is it normal for a guy to never wank? He says it doesn't work for him,

Well, then he needs to figure out to do it. I'm willing to bet that's just something he tells you so he can have sex instead of having to take care of himself.

He's going to be erect every morning, all men with healthy testosterone levels are erect every morning. You can encourage him to masturbate if he feels he can't sleep without an orgasm on the nights you are unable to have sex with him... but I sort of feel like that could be taken as an insult. Imagine yourself cuddeling up to your man and saying you want him, need him and him saying... you know... you could go masturbate, you'll feel better and be able to sleep, night honey!! That would be... hurtful.

I'm not saying you should have to accomadate his every erection. I guess I have a hard time seeing it being a problem since tired or not... I always seem to have a few minutes of energy stored up in my body to give or receive sexual pleasure from my S.O.

Also you guys don't have to have marathon love making sessions on a night you are both tired, quickies, oral or manual play can get the job done -- still keep you guys close and intimate, taking care of each others needs.

But its entirely up to you and what you feel comfortable with. I"ve been with my boyfriend a few years now and we have some form of sexual activity almost daily. Every other day when we are busy. No, we don't have the time or energy to make love for hours every day -- that would get boring anyway.

We spice it up, change it up, and meet our needs with each other in various ways. But I realize that every couple has different needs and different needs and expectations between the partners of every couple. You have to find a middle ground, but respectfully and in a way that shows you care about his wants, but need to have some respect for yours as well.

I don't think he should wake you for sex (except maybe occasionally if you agree), sleep is very important. OTOH, if you are awake maybe you can just take care of him quickly (assuming he is willing to do the same for you when you want it). Sex doesn't need to be long passionate lovemaking sessions every time - a quickie, or just a quick release with hands and oral can be just fine - and usually only takes a few minutes if the other person is already aroused.