Frustrated (boyfriend's erectile dysfunction)

**Bananarama85** · 07-08-2010 12:20 AM

My boyfriend and I have been friends since we were 12 or 13. We are now 25 and have been dating for the past nine months or so. We have had sex a few times but he has never been able to achieve an orgasm with me and has trouble getting and maintaining erections. I have never noticed him get erections in his sleep or in the morning either. I also don't think that he masturbates.

It stinks because it's affecting my attraction to him. There's something very sexy about a man getting an erection just from looking about you/thinking about you/being close to you. I find a man's erection and the subsequent climax to be very arousing as well. I was doing okay for awhile, achieving my own orgasms and we would have sex or fool around until we got tired (or if nothing was happening).

Anyhow. It's beginning to wear on me and I just feel like the lowest person. I feel like I'm supposed to set aside my needs and wants to be understanding and supportive of him and that I'm just supposed to try harder to be a better girlfriend.

What's worse is he doesn't have any health insurance so he can't get the medical help that he needs.

I'm just so frustrated and feel so guilty and I don't know what to do.

I don't feel attracted to him and his sex drive doesn't really seem to be there either.

Does ANYONE have ANY words of encouragement?

**Mes T** · 07-08-2010 01:13 AM

That's a shame that he doesn't have medical insurance... could he go to a free/cheap clinic somewhere just to get checked out? It seems that erectile dysfunctions are either psychological or physical, and I thought it was the former until you mentioned that he doesn't even have erections in the morning or masturbates... so there must be something physical going on. How's his health/energy in other aspects?

Why do you feel guilty? There's nothing wrong with wanting to be wanted, desired by your man. For a lot of people, something like this can be a deal breaker, and that's just how it is, it's not anything to feel guilty about. We're all searching for someone who is compatible with us in many areas of life, sex being one of them.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 07-08-2010 04:02 AM

You don't feel attracted to him.

You've been friend since teenagers.

You got together.

Your now 25.

It's possible he feels the same way, have you every asked him?

Maybe, it's that you were friends for so long, got together, but it's not as it should be, a relationship, still friendship and in that he can't see sex with you, and so he can't get it up.

Maybe, your not meant to be together, nothing to do with his problem, his problem could be that he can't see past the friendship.

Talk to him, you can't be in a relationship that isn't one. And, you can't assume that he has a problem, sexually..

CW

**WildChild** · 07-08-2010 01:00 PM

No morning wood at his age sounds like a hormone issue. How are his general energy levels? Even without insuance he should be able to get checked for testicular cancer and hormone levels at a reduced fee. Low testosterone can cause far more trouble than libido, it's a significant health risk for a man.