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Thread: I am inexperienced and shy. please help???

  1. 07-15-2010 12:09 PM #1
    Adrucela
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    Default I am inexperienced and shy. please help???

    I'm 18 and I've never had sex, but I think I lost my virginity when my boyfriend fingered me. We've been together for almost a year and have an amazing mental and emotional relationship. When he fingers me for the first 3-4 times in one day, I feel amazing, but I have not yet ever reached climax except through masturbation when I was alone.
    Question#1: If he fingers me more than 4 times my vagina is sore and it hurts, probably because I'm not wet enough. Is there a reason and a way to make it not painful or do I just have to tell him to stop?
    Question#2: He is the first person to touch me because I used to be afraid of any sexuality. I am unsure of myself, but I've been working on that because I love my boyfriend and feel comfortable around him. Unfortunately I feel shy talking to him about sexual matters. How do I overcome that shyness?
    Question#3: I have no idea when we'll start having sex, but what would be the best kind of protection? I'm VERY paranoid about pregnancy and I've been told condoms protect only 97%.Would it be better to use double protection?
    Thankyou in advance
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  2. 07-15-2010 12:16 PM #2
    LanaBear
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    IMO, you are still a virgin. I don't feel that one person loses their virginity until you have penis in the vagina sex.

    Being fingered 4 times a day is quite a lot. It is no wonder that you are sore. Personally, if it doesn't feel good, I'd be telling him to stop. YOU and your vagina do need to take a break.

    A lot of girls your age are shy when it comes to talking about sex with their boyfriends. It's okay, start slow, what do you want to talk to him about? The more open you are, the less guessing that needs to happen and the better your relationship.

    Condoms are fine. There are other options though. You can look at getting on some type of BC from the Dr., the pill, shot, IUD, etc. You can use a sponge, diaphragm, spermicide, etc. The only BC that will be 100% is abstinence.
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  3. 07-15-2010 04:37 PM #3
    sallywi2003
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    I would have to say I would also be sore if my husband fingered me 4 times a day. Try slowing this down and do this once per day but have him do it slow and play with your clitoris during the intimate time.

    In regards to being shy about talking about sex this will come with time you are only 18. Enjoy the small discussions you have and they will progress over time.

    I agree with Lanabear condoms are fine. I have tried the sponge and diaphram and found it took away from this special time.
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  4. 07-15-2010 06:20 PM #4
    Mes T
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    I'd suggest him fingering you LESS, and doing MORE of what YOU do when you masturbate. He needs to learn how to get you off. Fingering is good but if it doesn't "do it" for you in the end, then attention has to be paid elsewhere.

    The shyness thing, just take baby steps, be confident in yourself, and with more experience it'll pass.
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  5. 07-15-2010 07:45 PM #5
    jns
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    He has to learn how to use lube and how to use his hands correctly if you don't want to be sore. How long was the fingering altogether?
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  6. 07-15-2010 08:48 PM #6
    FuzzyWuzzy
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    I can't usually let my husband finger me b/c his hands are so callused and rough and it hurts on a delicate area. Your bf is just doing what HE thinks you might like. If its not doing it for you just tell him what does. Like "how about we try it like this..." and get some lube at walmart and have him put some on his fingers and you put some on you on the outside and it will be much more pleasurable and reduce soreness.
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  7. 07-16-2010 12:29 AM #7
    Thomas Hepburn
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    Please show him where in/around your vagina and what you'd like him to do. You could take off your pants and let him explore. Each time he hits a nice spot you could tell him to remember that next time. Don't be afraid to tell him what you want. Also, explore his penis and gential area and ask him what he likes. In this way you'll give pleasure to each other. x
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  8. 07-16-2010 02:02 AM #8
    Adrucela
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    Thanks for the advice! I think it'll help. I suppose the main thing is my mental block :P
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