Thread: Need Advice

I'm almost 4 mos pregnant with our first child and because of circumstances, we've had to move in recently with his parents for a few months. I've woken up several nights now to find him masturbating in front of the computer. He knows how I feel about it. Also, when we were at our house, he would always come to me if he needed any satisfaction. It seems to have changed since we've been at his parents'. I've even seen him look to where I was laying several times to see if I was awake. The last time he masturbated, I talked to him after he turned off what he was masturbating to and he didn't admit to it at first. I finally got him to admit to it. I know a lot of people say it's no big deal that he masturbates, but I feel like it's starting to put a strain on our relationship. He never felt the need to do it at our house, why now? How do I deal with it? I've told him that he if needs satisfaction, I'll take care of him. Thanks for any advice.

I would sit down with him and discuss how it makes you feel when he masturbates to the computer. I would see if there are times your parent are n't around I would find him and have sex with him. I would use the bathroom while the shower is running and have sex. I owuld show him you are more than willing to have sex. The other thing that could be going on is he may think he is going to injure the infant by having sex with you while you are pregnant this is not the case. If he still masturbates after your openess to please him then you might have to seek counseling.

At about 4 month is when my wife started to show, and having sex with her was.....strange to say the least. I guess it really hit me that there was something in there, not just an idea any longer. Honestly, I was afraid I was going to hurt her and/or our new baby. So like sally said, this may be it. Also, is he the reason that you are at your parents? Did he loose his job, or is he in some way responsible for you being at your parents? If so, that is a huge strain on a man with a new addition on the way. If my wife were pregnant and we were living at her mom's, I don't think I would be sexually responsive at all. Talking to him is the best advice.

For a lot of men, pregnancy generates this sexy lover / mother disconnect. The images can be very difficult to reconcile and can cause all sorts of problems.

Originally Posted by Casey715

... Also, is he the reason that you are at your parents? Did he loose his job, or is he in some way responsible for you being at your parents? If so, that is a huge strain on a man with a new addition on the way. If my wife were pregnant and we were living at her mom's, I don't think I would be sexually responsive at all. .

The OP says they're staying at HIS parents, not hers.

But you're right that he is very possibly afraid of hurting the baby; she should sit him down and tell him that with a little care, they can have sex right up until the birth. Or, since he's so good with the computer, he could look it up for himself and learn that.

- R

How did I miss that? Thanks Texasred. BTW if we were at my mom's house, still wouldn't have sex. A little one on the way and my mom to boot, noooo way. lol

He has just become mommys boy again and is doing what he does best before you were married.The argument about hurting the baby is nonsense as you already offered to please him in which ever way possible other than penetration.
Its possible he had this porn habit before, but you never noticed.The new environment makes it difficult for him to ''privatise'' his hobby.
A pregnant woman can be incredibly sexy if she feels good about herself and not self conscious about her ever expanding tummy.Turn on the heat,enough to blow the tube on the computer monitor.

I distinctly remember my wife telling me how incredibly horny she felt all the time while pregnant - once the morning-sickness period was past. I must say, I took advantage of that as much as possible: "incredibly sexy" is the perfect description of the way she was then!
(that ended with the birth, though, unfortunately...)