spicing it up in the bedroom

**heatherswar** · 08-03-2010 11:14 PM

So I have a question for both the guys and girls here. I'm pretty plain Jane in the bedroom and pretty shy too, mainly due to lack of self confidence and embarrassment when It comes to asking what he'd like to do differently, other things he likes or if there is anything he'd like to try. Basically I don't know how to bring these topics up without feeling embarrassed or like he'll judge me. We are getting married in September of this year on the Oregon coast. It's Just us on the coast and I thought How cool would It be to add some spice and adventure to our newly wed sex life during the honeymoon. Any ideas on how to talk to him and also some advice for in the bedroom too? I'm completely clueless, positions, games, how to be sexy??? Lol, Thanks for reading and any help that can be offered.

**WildChild** · 08-03-2010 11:35 PM

Enthusiasm will take you a long way. Keeping it juicy, being ready any time, any place. How about sex in every room, on every piece of furniture, as long as it isn't too delicate?
Raid the fridge. What can you do with what you find there? Chocolate sauce, peanut butter, cheese? I'm sure you can use your imagination.
Of course, you have to put your vehicles to use.
Outdoors is always good.

**heatherswar** · 08-04-2010 07:27 AM

So what would be the best way to let him know I'm curious And want to try to bring new elements into our sex life???

**pretzel** · 08-04-2010 07:36 AM

Not intending this to be a smart alickey comment, but if you're really comfortable with your relationship with him and he in you, I'd bet alot that if you just whisper something in his ear about wanting to make love in different places and different ways, you'd never see him move faster in your life.

As WC put it, enthusiasm will go a long, long way.

**heatherswar** · 08-04-2010 07:57 AM

Ok. So tell me if this would be a good or bad thing to do. I was thinking about going and buying a sex toy or two, some candles, new cute but a little sexy bra and panty and on our wedding night getting all those things out and set up. Just put my self out there. This is the extent of our bedroom adventures... missionary, sometimes doggie style, a blow job every now and then but no oral for me. And a small amount of foreplay. Do you think those added elements to What we already do would make for a pretty exciting wedding night. I have never put myself out there in any way due lack of confidence but I do know he finds confidence very sexy And attractive.

**pretzel** · 08-04-2010 08:10 AM

Originally Posted by heatherswar

Ok. So tell me if this would be a good or bad thing to do. I was thinking about going and buying a sex toy or two, some candles, new cute but a little sexy bra and panty and on our wedding night getting all those things out and set up. Just put my self out there. This is the extent of our bedroom adventures... missionary, sometimes doggie style, a blow job every now and then but no oral for me. And a small amount of foreplay. Do you think those added elements to What we already do would make for a pretty exciting wedding night. I have never put myself out there in any way due lack of confidence but I do know he finds confidence very sexy And attractive.

Yes, but if I may give a somewhat different view.

I may be in a somewhat minority view here but I believe that there are certain times where making love as opposed to having sex are not one in the same. I tend to think that "special" evenings should be reserved for purely intimate and passionate interludes. I tend to thin one's wedding night (and subsequently anniversary nights) are one of them. This should be an evening (if you're not too exhausted) where it's less about sex and more about intimacy.

That being said, what you described would be perfect for an evening on your honeymoon. This is when the fun part of being joined should really take root. This is where the two of you should have no reservations or fears of each other.

**rtv99** · 08-04-2010 08:11 AM

I agree totally with Pretzel and WChild. The one thing we find so arousing about making love to our partner is the "Want". Enthusiasm is the physical want. The whispers are the spoken want. In whatever form it is you are sure to get the repsonse you're looking for.

As for talking to him about wanting to be adventurous. If you start by letting him now you have been thinking about him, "wanting' him, "wanting" to explore him and yourself I think you;ll find he'll respond very positively. So brainstorm a little and come up with something specific. This will truly prove to him you're thinking about it. It will also take the pressure off of him if he's at a loss for what to do. We constantly wish we knew what you wanted. All we want to do is pleasure our woman so if she comes right out and tells me by whispering it in my ear you be sure that's exactly what i'm gonna do and will be confident it's what you want.

Good luck.

**WildChild** · 08-04-2010 08:18 AM

I would skip the toys for your wedding night. Candles are good, mood music, keep in mind that you both may be a bit frazzeled after the big do and might have to postpone to night 2. Why no oral for you? Is that your choice? If not how about something to entice his tongue around your body? You may need a nice big soft towel to keep the sheets clean. What does he like to drink? Get a few itsy little bottles or use chocolate sauce. Brandy in your navel trailing along where you want him to go...? Tell him that whatever he does to you, you are going to return the favor and do it to him.

Finger foods so you can playfully feed each other, things that feel good to tease your skin, a soft feather, a bit of silk. Tell him you want him to touch, kiss and explore every inch of your body and you want to touch and explore every inch of his. Do it as a narrative, "I love your elbow, it so bendy, I love the skin under your upper arm." This can build up some real anticipation - and don't go straight for the goodies, brush against them, go around, tease over but don't go there right off and then don't give them anymore attention that any other parts and move on to something else. That will keep it going and building and drive him nuts cuz guys always want to get straight down to it, start helping him learn the pleasure of build up and anticipation.

I think as you get into this you will find more and more to try.

**heatherswar** · 08-04-2010 08:21 AM

Awesome, thank guys I really appreciate all of the feedback and I will definately look into trying new things with my soon to be husband to spice it up and keep it fresh but as for the wedding night I'll do my best to bring intimacy and passion to the table. Thanks again and if anyone else has some good ideas for the wedding night or any other night for that matter...I'm all ears. Like I said, I'm pretty clueless. Lol.

**heatherswar** · 08-04-2010 08:25 AM

The reason for no oral is that it just never happens...Not my choice as I do LOVE it but he just never goes there and I don't have what it takes to get him down there. Don't want to push the matter there if he doesn't like it or if he doesn't like doing it on me. But I'd rather leave as is then find out he hates giving me oral. Sad, sad but I don't know what to say to him or what to ask as to why the oral never happens. Embarrassment all the way, Lol.