As a teenager, were you ever severely bullied for being sexual?

**Magnetism** · 08-07-2010 02:16 PM

This is hard for me to talk about (due to people's reactions). But, for some reason, I think I need to put it out there. I'm not just talking about being called a "s**t" or having vicious girls spread rumors about you. It was actually the boys that were much more mean to me when growing up.

In one of my older threads, I talked about being bullied for being a different race by boys while living in Alabama (being told to go back to my country, etc). Another reason I was bullied was for being so overtly sexual at a young age.

I know it was wrong to act that way, BUT something traumatic happened when I was in middleschool that caused the overly sexualized behavior (I don't want to get into what the traumatic event was). Hence, the boys in my grade didn't understand it. They reacted by throwing stuff at me, making vomiting sounds when I walked by, run away from acting scared, telling me I was gross, and telling me I was ugly. The school faculty didn't do anything about it. If anything, the faculty blamed for being bullied or didn't believe me. After all, the boys that were doing this to me were model students from wealthy and religious families. Since I wasn't getting the help I needed for the trauma that was happening, I didn't know how to stop the sexualized behavior myself.

While one can say "Just get over it," this was something hard to recover from over the years. I HATED hearing how teenage boys are just after sex, how 13 year old boys must love to have sex with adult teachers, and how being sexually active makes you more popular in highschool . It just brought back memories of me being bullied. I would ask myself "Why did they bully me, if society says that boys love sexual women? Was something wrong with me? " If anything, I spent my teenage years wondering if teenage boys were prudes or were scared.

As an adult, I confronted my bullies on facebook. They all said they were deeply sorry. Their reasons for picking on me were:

1) I was attracted to you, and didn't know how to handle it.

2) I was immature and didn't know what I was doing

3) I was trying to fit in with the other kids

4) I don't even remember what I did (yeah right)

My question is if anyone else has had something similar to them? I can imagine why it would be embarrassing for people to open up about this. I've only met a few females that have been through something similar. Other people just act surprised when I tell them, because they're so used to hearing how teenage boys are sex-crazed.

I wrote a letter to my middleschool principal asking why did he allow those boys to behave so viciously. It's abuse, isn't it? Every child has the right not to be abused and neglected. He didn't respond, because he knew he could get in trouble. My middleschool was known for being one of the "best schools" in the nation. You know how such schools don't want anything to taint their reputation. They sweep everything under the rug. I also feel that people who didn't go to such presitgious schools won't realize how snobby, cruel and judgmental the kids can be.

Then again, Alabama is also very conservative when it comes to sex.

**Olympia** · 08-07-2010 02:54 PM

Bullied due to 'boasting', of a sexual attack. Yes!
But it is something that i would never post here or anywhere!

**Magnetism** · 08-07-2010 03:01 PM

I respect and understand that.

I'm someone who can't hold things in, or it will just make it worse.

No matter what the risk is of someone finding out, I have to let it out. =/

I watched a commerical saying "Whatever you write on the internet, other people can see."

**Olympia** · 08-07-2010 03:14 PM

PaneraBread,
Thanks! The internet is a great source of info, and that which, if you can think it someone has put it out there for all
to see.. I choose to leave some things unannounced!

**jns** · 08-07-2010 03:44 PM

Bullying is very common in schools and for all sorts of things. It was that way when I started high school in 1973 and it is the same today. The teachers don't get involved unless there is a fight or someone does something that is too disruptive. This makes school something to be endured by the bullied and gives the bully the wrong lessons for future life. Many of the actions would constitute assault in adult life. Sometimes the reactions by the bullied can be devastating. Then everybody wrings their hands and says how they didn't know what was going on. The teachers and the school management don't want to get involved. I blame the teachers and the management. Little wonder the Principal doesn't give you the courtesy of writing back.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 08-07-2010 04:04 PM

Even in my era, bullying occured..

Boys teased, as our breasts grew, girls wanting to pick fights, and teachers or (a) teacher, flirted extensively with a Virgin, making her want to lose it, fortunately didn't

You know Panda, it's good that you wrote on Facebook to them, you need closure.. You've grown.. matured, and nievity of anyone in how they treat someone, is often the case, follow the crowd and some don't remember, because they don't want to...

They have no idea of the scars they leave.

But you can choose to let that taunt you, or understand that kids, are cruel, you weren't those things and are not those things and smile in that knowing...

CW

**Magnetism** · 08-07-2010 11:26 PM

Does anyone remember Phoebe Prince recently? Her suicide started to enrage parents that the faculty should be punished for not doing anything about bullying. I work with kids who have behavioral issues (that includes sexual acting out). LUCKILY, I've collaborated with school faculty that get it, are quick to intervene and will try to stop any bullying.

Even though the principal didn't write back, I at least hope he doesn't let that kind of bullying happen to someone else. Being the best school isn't just about getting good grades. It's also about providing a safe environment for kids, and teaching kids empathy.

Regarding teachers intervening during fights only, I think verbal/emotional abuse is much worse and the scars last longer. I'm not minimizing phsyical abuse, but I would have rather been pushed or punched than told the things that I was told.

**dr.mansview** · 08-07-2010 11:48 PM

boys at that age are very immature..a boy admitting to liking you would most likely get teased incessantly by the other kids..it's great that some have admitted to being jerks..hope your healing is coming to an end

**Olympia** · 08-08-2010 12:26 AM

PaneraBread,
My original major was teaching, and much of my jr.high experience had to do with it.
I do believe that these types of behavior can be stopped.
IMO however, i feel ALL..(verbal/emotional/physical/sexual) assults can leave long lasting effects. But it is what one chooses to do after... that decides the outcome.
Upon reading your thread, i went back and forth. Should i respond...... or no. But i felt a need. Like you stated initially, you needed to get it out. I understand that completely!