Masturbation Help Needed

**c_c2815** · 08-10-2010 05:06 PM

Hi,
I recently started trying to masturbate. I have never orgasmed from sex with my husband and saw on this site that I should try maturbating to learn what I like. I have had a few small clitoral orgasms from using a vibrator but I don't want to desensitize myself so I'd rather learn to orgasm manually. Each time I try that I have no luck. Can anyone give me suggestions on what to try, should I be going slow/fast, how long it normally takes, etc.? Since I'm new at this I really have no clue and end up feeling silly and giving up.

**jns** · 08-10-2010 09:38 PM

Do you spend time getting in the mood? You should think thoughts that make you horny and comfortable.

Good, you have gotten response from a vibrator. Observe what motion where makes you feel the sensations that leads to orgasm. Repeat it with variation to see if something slightly different works better and to get a number of motions that work. Vary the pressure and find if that makes a difference.

Find out what makes you involuntarily want to change positions or twitch or clench your muscles. Find out what makes you catch your breath and breath harder. Find out what makes your heart race. Find out what makes your body flush and feel hot.

My experience is that with some women it can be only a few minutes to orgasm, others it may take a half hour or more. Keep on working on building the sensation. Sometimes slowing down, then building up again works.

**bubbles** · 08-10-2010 10:29 PM

A lot I think is in the mind, think less physically and more about being turned on... think of "what it is" that turns you on. Fantasize. Feel the blood rush between your legs, gets warmer. Then when you are using manual stimulation, you will do what feels good.

**skirt99** · 08-10-2010 10:41 PM

Keep in mind that your clit is the seat of 99% of sexual pleasure. Gently touching yourself there will usually get you where you want to go. Lubrication is important too. If you are touching yourself and not getting wet right away, try using a little KY jelly. I love to start this way myself. Be patient....and let your thoughts roam into intimate fantasies. I can also recommend straddling the arm of a nice easy chair and "riding" it. (Panties on for that method) My sister tells me that her favorite way to masturbate is directing her shower massage on the clitoral area. So, there are some of my suggestions. I think that you will discover that having an orgasm this way is really pretty easy. Good luck.

**hizenberg** · 08-10-2010 11:08 PM

when i was 16 i found this out for my self and had fun doing it!! lol start with your clit and just rub gentley and slowly, but remember when you do try this dont make a thing of thinking'gotta cum gotta cum' just relax and it will happen, eventualy it will get to a point of 'whoahh muma' lol lol try putting 1 or 2 fingers inside you and point upwards to the top wall,about a inch in, and wriggle them gently while you slowly rub your clit in circles..
it may help but i know it a sure thing for me, trust me try it it should work the finger/clit combo lol
make sure you use lube on your clit or you will get a painful 'carpet burn' on your clit as you may have already figured out for yourself??!! lol
good luck and remember , relax is the key to 'bliss'