kissing... how do I make it more enjoyable for him?

**sungoddesschelsy** · 08-18-2010 12:13 PM

My boyfriend has never been big on kissing (so he tells me). We kiss... when I leave for work or get home or just a peck every so often but in almost 4 years we have never kissed more than 4 or 5 pecks at a time. Why?? I've asked him and he said he just doesn't get why making out is so great to people... he says its hard to breathe, he thinks about other more interesting things (having sex), or he just gets bored with kissing. This never bothered me until I went outside of our relationship and was with someone else (9 months ago). Now I can not stop thinking about what it was like to kiss that guy and how much he kept telling me how it turned him on and how he loved my lips so much... (just for a little backround info about me cheating... I was friends with the guy for almost a year before anything sexual at all happened and once it did it was like we couldn't keep our hands off each other)

anyways my boyfriend and I are together and have gotten past my mistake, but now I can't get this kissing thing out of my head, i dont think about kissing the other guy I think about kissing my boyfriend but he doesn't even like me to, and when we do it always goes straight to sex.... what can I do to make him like kissing me more?
*I brush my teeth when I wake up, after every meal, and before bed so that can't be an excuse!

**WildChild** · 08-18-2010 01:57 PM

Sigh
Just got out of an almost 2 yr no kissing relationship, it started out amazing with lots of affection and kissing. Then he just decided he wasn't doing that anymore. Before that I was married to a man who rarely kissed or showed me any affection. Some men are just like that. I love kissing and 'making out'. I can cum from kissing. Since my 20s I haven't had a man in my life who was into it. I spent 10 yrs in a marriage based on religion with a man who thought loving your spouse or children would take you away from god (that was my 30s) by then porn and the internet had taken men by storm. No One in porn is into arousal, kissing and sensuality.

I'm ready to just give up. If they don't want to play with sensual, multi orgasmic woman and would rather play with themselves - let 'em.

So you had a guy who was into it. Why are you with this one and not that one?

There is a fun book, The Kissing School (yer there really is one) that you might enjoy although it is more about intimacy than any mechanics of kissing.

**sungoddesschelsy** · 08-18-2010 02:48 PM

I'm with my boyfriend because I love him and he loves me very much... things are okay in just about every other asspect besides that. I think its a self-esteem thing with me... the other guy loved it when I kissed him, he told me all the time he would get hard from just me kissing him and that really made me feel good about myself and now that I feel like my boyfriend doesn't like it it makes me insecure.

**WildChild** · 08-18-2010 03:00 PM

Kissing is one of the most intimate forms of contact you can have. Far more intimate than intercourse is generally. You smell and feel each other, you are face to face, lip to lip. You can screw all day without actually looking at each other or really being intimate. You can't do that with kissing and that should tell you something about where someone is with intimacy.

**sungoddesschelsy** · 08-18-2010 03:05 PM

I guess its one of those things I'll have to live without if it's worth it to me... or maybe he'll finally learn to pick up on what i like... he has done that in the past. Just the other day we were talking about what he liked sexually and what I liked sexually and he told me some things about myself that I didn't realize he knew.

**sungoddesschelsy** · 08-18-2010 03:11 PM

And I have to admit... things with the other guy were just so much more passionate, even just conversation. (the first time he looked into my eyes he litterally said "wow" and we were stuck there for like 20seconds) so that probably has alot to do with it.
My boyfriend and I just have never had the raw passion that me and the other guy had.

**Rediscovered** · 08-18-2010 06:35 PM

I can't live without kissing (okay, exaggeration, I lived without it for 20 years, but don't want to now, lol!)...my lover and I kiss for hours, something my ex-husband and I never did, even in the beginning of our relationship.

If it were me, I don't think I'd be able to continue a relationship with someone who didn't enjoy passionate kissing~~it's very important to me and makes me want more...

**cocoa** · 08-18-2010 07:43 PM

You've probably thought about this but have you ever asked him about his first experiences kissing? Perhaps those encounters affected him in some way. Is he generally busy, concerned with time, worried about other things, etc.

How about this - maybe on a day off, both of you go to a park or semi private but public area so that there's less chance it will lead to sex, begin kissing but ease into it. I say this because it sounds as if the kissing sessions are usually rushed.

Also, how old was the other person you were with? Is there an age difference between the person you were with and your boyfriend?

**jns** · 08-18-2010 08:07 PM

Find out from your bf if he ever gets turned on by kissing scenes in movies. If he does, find out what is different in them and kissing you. Guys who aren't into kissing don't know what they are missing, especially while having penetrative sex and during mutual masturbation.

**Casey715** · 08-19-2010 02:24 AM

Sorry, but kissing for more than a few min. is boring. When I was young and the relationship was just starting, kissing was fun then. I kiss her on the shoulders and neck when she is getting ready in the morning and through out the day. Kiss hello and goodbye. Before and after sex while holding her. But to "make out" seems......childish. ------- That is how I felt before reading the statements above. WOW, KISSING???? REALLY???? I had no clue. I know my wife likes to kiss and would like to kiss more, I just never thought of it as.......sexual ALL by itself. OP, tell him how it makes you feel. He most likely doesn't have a clue. If he doesn't buy into it, tell him again. WOW, KISSING. Who knew?