Domination?

**Peggysue** · 08-30-2010 09:00 PM

I have always thought that my sexual interests where a little peculiar but i never really understood why.

My husband and I both love each other but for some reason i feel like i shouldn't be loved. Since i was 5 i have always gotten my kicks out of the complete domination over me. I wish i could just have him show me his love for me without telling me things like i am a worthless piece of just to get me to climax.

It's really effecting my relationship with him and almost turning it into some kind of a master-slave thing. I want to be normal like the rest of my friends but i can't get anywhere unless he is making me black out by hitting my head against the frame of the bed or twisting my arm back like some kind of pro wrestler.

It effects everything in my life. I don't treat other women with respect like i should. Even my mother i see as a piece of meat instead of a person.

What can i do to get better?

-Peggy

**WildChild** · 08-30-2010 09:36 PM

Hmm, this requires some thought.

**dr.mansview** · 08-30-2010 09:59 PM

Originally Posted by Peggysue

I have always thought that my sexual interests where a little peculiar but i never really understood why.

My husband and I both love each other but for some reason i feel like i shouldn't be loved. Since i was 5 i have always gotten my kicks out of the complete domination over me. I wish i could just have him show me his love for me without telling me things like i am a worthless piece of just to get me to climax.

It's really effecting my relationship with him and almost turning it into some kind of a master-slave thing. I want to be normal like the rest of my friends but i can't get anywhere unless he is making me black out by hitting my head against the frame of the bed or twisting my arm back like some kind of pro wrestler.

It effects everything in my life. I don't treat other women with respect like i should. Even my mother i see as a piece of meat instead of a person.

What can i do to get better?

-Peggy

the above quote in bold first made me think that perhaps as a young child you were made to feel worthless or "in the way" by a parent or some close relative and therefore don't see yourself as worthy of a good man....negelected in other words, perhaps even physically or sexually abused..i may be way off here, and i hope this doesn't apply but that was my first thot

**jns** · 08-30-2010 10:45 PM

Peggy, I'm not sure what kind of man would go that far to get his wife to orgasm. I hope he is in control and won't really hurt you. It sounds like some cross connections exist in your brain that cause sexual release from fear and pain. Have you gone to a psychiatrist?

**rcoreyus** · 08-30-2010 11:16 PM

I have no problem with any form of consenting sex between adults IF they are both happy with it. In this case though it sounds like you aren't happy or at least are somewhat disturbed by what you are doing and that is a good reason to get professional help.

The "hitting your head against the frame" to make you black out?? If you aren't exaggerating that sounds very dangerous.

Something about this is triggering the "troll detector". (sorry if I am wrong)

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 08-30-2010 11:36 PM

I have always thought that my sexual interests where a little peculiar but i never really understood why

Since i was 5 i have always gotten my kicks out of the complete domination over me.

Even my mother i see as a piece of meat instead of a person.

The way in which you've written this? Brings to mind, that your childhood was full of abuse, perhaps by your Father, to your Mother and perhaps in front of you...

Perhaps she never stood up for herself and perhaps it was stated she deserved it, all women do..

Perhaps you married someone therefore, like your Father, (if) this theory is partiually or totally correct.

The only part of this that would not make sense and form an opinion of Troll, would be the statement regarding getting your kicks out of dominance from the age of 5.

And it would be great to hear your thoughts further and explanation in that regard.

I want to be normal

What to you is normal...

CW

**Hooster** · 08-31-2010 02:46 AM

The way the mind works is mysterious and poorly understood. Many people have the same kind of feelings you have, Peggy. Some of them can explain it by something that happened in their childhood while others can not.

I like to make love without any role play or fantasy going on and just enjoy the act. That to me is like vanilla ice cream. It is usually really good. The thing is that we may not want vanilla ice cream all the time... Sometimes we want something with a bit more spice and bite to it. I am that way, and being dominated by a woman sometimes does a lot for me. It can be a tremendous rush.

It seems like this is more extreme in your case and you get no pleasure out of vanilla sex AND it affects your life outside the bedroom. I do not have the knowledge to give you advice about that. If you really want it fixed you will probably have to get help from a professional therapist. I doubt there is any other way. If you don't want to do that I would suggest that you see if you can compartmentalize your life and be his sex slave in the bedroom, if that is what you want, and an average person everywhere else.

Finally, be careful about making assumptions about "the rest of your friends". I think you might be surprised if you found out their secrets...

**willowrock61** · 08-31-2010 12:18 PM

Other responses here about your "domination" set up have been tepid at best, Let me cut straight to the chaff.

I like kinky fun as well as the next person. But if this man is striking you in the manner you mentioned; run like crazy! This is no more or no less than physical abuse with a capitol P!

NO ONE an I mean no one, should ever put up with this kind of BS and to do it in the name of sexual domination gives the term itself a bad name.

Best of luck - but get away from this sob.

Originally Posted by rcoreyus

I have no problem with any form of consenting sex between adults IF they are both happy with it. In this case though it sounds like you aren't happy or at least are somewhat disturbed by what you are doing and that is a good reason to get professional help.

The "hitting your head against the frame" to make you black out?? If you aren't exaggerating that sounds very dangerous.

Something about this is triggering the "troll detector". (sorry if I am wrong)

**LanaBear** · 08-31-2010 12:22 PM

Originally Posted by willowrock61

I like kinky fun as well as the next person. But if this man is striking you in the manner you mentioned; run like crazy! This is no more or no less than physical abuse with a capitol P!

NO ONE an I mean no one, should ever put up with this kind of BS and to do it in the name of sexual domination gives the term itself a bad name.

Best of luck - but get away from this sob.

I 100% agree. There is a line to where it is now abuse and no longer a dominate little game.

**Day Tripper** · 08-31-2010 04:51 PM

There is nothing wrong with a little S&M now and again, but, you guys are playing way too close to the edge and both you and he are treading dangerous waters. Please get professional help. This problem is way beyond the scope of this forum to analyze. IMO.

Day Tripper

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