Can you have a happy marriage or long term relationship without good sex?
Quite a number of people place a high importance on sex for relationship satisfaction.
Is this true for everyone, do you need good sex to be happy in your relationship?
Are there any here who have little or no sex in their relationship and feel satisfied just the same?
I don't think it's to do with the amount, it's more whether or not both partners AGREE on how much of it to have and whatever else. So if two people both agree that they want to have sex once a month, then I don't see why they couldn't be perfectly happy. Alas it seems like being on the same page with your partner in that regard is kind of rare!
I'd be a lot happier with more and better sex in my 4-year relationship. In fact, there are many days I am UNhappy due to sex issues. Then again, if you'd ask my SO he'd say that sex is not everything, but he knows it's important in a relationship. I don't think he's exactly happy about it either.
To me sex is 50% of the relationship, as it's the only difference between your SO and a friend. It's something you're not "allowed" to do with anyone else, therefore the person you are with must be able to satisfy you, as much as you must be able to satisfy him. Without sex I don't see a purpose in a relationship, unless both parties feel that sex is unnecessary/doesn't have to happen often. Otherwise it's difficult to feel happy in the relationship. Sex tells a lot about a couple.
Originally Posted by Mes_T
This question is not about how much sex partners have. There are quite a few threads on that subject. The question i'm asking is if there are couples who feel satisfied without an active sexual relationship.
I think the only way you can have a happy relationship without good sex is if sex is not important to EITHER partner. If its important to one of them... they are not going to be happy with someone it isn't important to. But 2 people that place no importance or have little enjoyment from intimacy can very likely have a great time together since neither of them is left wanting.
Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.
cocoa... I wrote the following: So if two people both agree that they want to have sex once a month, then I don't see why they couldn't be perfectly happy. This means, I am trying to say, that yes there probably ARE couples who feel satisfied without an active sexual relationship. But I bet they're only satisfied if they both agree that they don't want much sex.
I'm sure that there are many satisfied older couples who have quit on sexual relationships or medical reasons have eliminated the chance of sexual relationships and who have resigned themselves to that is the way it is. This is probably not the place to find many who are satisfied in a relationship without sex.
I'm going to disagree with that statement. From my point of view, there are other things. Of course, I never set up house with a woman friend. If I had, would she and I be comfortable walking around with whatever degree of clothing we were wearing or none at all? How about sharing the bathroom, where one is bathing and the other using the toilet? How many people tangle finances with a friend?
Yes, of course you can have a happy relationship without sex.
My best friend is a perfect example, his wife has zero, zip, nada interest in sex and he's like a 4 month old puppy that could hump everything. Simple solution, he's free to play whenever he's away working providing its safe and she doesn't directly know. She knows that without sex he will leave and she simply has no interest in meeting that need for him.
They've been together about 11 years and married for 7 or 8.
How happy couples are with no sex is completely dependent on how much they want sex or enjoy sex to begin with. If a couple both loves sex and they are not having it... its likely they won't be satisfied. If they both hate sex and don't have sex... they would probably be very satisfied. Whether or not sex is an important to a relationships happiness would depend entirely on whether or not its important to either party in general.
I think if someone enjoys sex and intimacy and their partner doesnt...they may be happy together in other ways... but satisfied ? Probably not.
Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.
The expectation was that most people, as least those posting here, would say it's necessary or at least an important part of their relationship, as there are quite a number of threads on this. Which is why my curiousity is about those who experience relationship satisfaction without an active sex life, without both partners going outside the relationship to fulfill these needs.
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