I think I'm normal... o.O :D

**KristenTheAlmighty** · 09-06-2010 08:32 PM

Hello all you lovely people out there that are willing to talk to a pathetic horny teenager such as myself. My name is Kristen, and I'm currently having the time of my life with my very first partner. Here's the lowdown, the gentleman and I have been besties for about 6-7 years now, until one day we thought, hey, screw it, might as well date. With that, we kinda skipped the awkward getting to know eachother stage and starting doing the nasty within 3 months. Now I've grown up with a unaturally religious family and I've had to learn about sex all by myself. The question, "where do babies come from" was never answered for me, so I never really started learning about it until we got the manditory talk in 7th grade (which I "forgot" to tell mom and dad about) Anyhoodle, skipping the sob story, I've gotten myself on birthcontrol, read a ton of books, and went through the awkward fun of buying condoms.
So basically, after all this, I've just been looking for some real live people to talk to. Is there anybody that can tell me the basics? Trust me, I've got the idea, and the gentleman I'm with has a very open mother (so open her and her partner will start going at it very loudly in the middle of the day) But are there any big dos and don'ts, did he and I start out too early in the relationship? I feel normal, and healthy from this, and it's not killing me hiding it from mom and dad, I don't know, I just need somebody to tell me I'm not gonna go burn in some sort of pot of fire for having a good time.

**WildChild** · 09-06-2010 08:34 PM

LOL welcome to the forum I'm sure you'll find plenty of advice and input here.

**Mes T** · 09-06-2010 08:38 PM

You'll be fine.

If I can give one piece of advice for "beginners" it's this: Make sure YOU can orgasm, and that you teach your partner to bring you to orgasm. I don't know what was the deal with me, but honestly for the first couple of years I was having sex, neither I nor my partner paid much attention to my needs, it was all about the guy.

**KristenTheAlmighty** · 09-06-2010 08:48 PM

Thankyou, and thankyou! I do hope that things started to work both ways with you and him

**Hopeless Dork** · 09-06-2010 08:50 PM

Great advice Mes T... most of my sex life until i met my boyfriend involved me laying back and doing whatever i was told, bend this way that way whatever way they wanted, no insight was given from me on what I WANTED to do or feel nor was it ever asked... it was all such a huge waste of energy (and some of my soul) engaging in sex simply to please partner. To me back then it was like Orgasms during sex? pshhhaw... thats what masturbation is for!! I'd have sex to bond with the guy I was dating and masturbate to meet my own needs... bleep that. LOL. I now have sex for my pleasure as well as my boyfriends and its a win win.

Advice for newbies on sex:

Protect yourself, don't trust your man to do it for you. Bring your own condoms, don't think it will make you look bad, it only shows you respect yourself enough to not have sex without being safe.

Don't believe a guy will pull out in time, especially if its a guy that isn't really sexually experienced or displays any selfish tendencies.

Get yearly check ups. And if you've just recently started sex , get a check up asap. Its important to make sure you are keeping healthy downstairs.

Don't put your physical needs above your emotional ones. In other words just because you are horny doesn't mean you must have sex. You can always take care of yourself, don't ever feel like you need to risk your health or future for an orgasm -- its not worth it. And don't sleep with anyone thinking it will make you guys closer... it won't... you are either close or you're not, sex won't make a man love you more than he already does.

Respect yourself, respect your partner and demand that they have respect for you. Know your limits , don't do anything you aren't comfortable with and don't get guilted into doing anything you don't want to do. You owe no one NOTHING. Blueballs = lame excuse to get in your pants, don't fall for that... he wont die if he gets a hard on that goes unresolved.

Do protect yourself from disease and pregnancy, do protect your heart by making sure you only give your body to a man that has earned the right to share something so special with you. Do explore your own body and your own wants and needs and express those to your partner. If they don't want to please you, they don't deserve you pleasing them.

**LanaBear** · 09-06-2010 08:51 PM

HAHA - Loved the post.

It sounds like the two of you are doing fine. FWIW, my hubby and I were friends for years before also giving in and deciding to be boyfriend and girlfriend (he was 18 and I was 17), we also had sex very very early on in the relationship because it was just right, no awkward getting to know you phase, as you put it.

Make sure the pleasure goes both ways. I think most of the time in young sex, the pleasure is focused on the boy and the girl just expects that is how it is supposed to be. Wrongo! Make sure you orgasm like Mes says. Make sure there is plenty of foreplay and just learn each others bodies together and HAVE FUN!

**LanaBear** · 09-06-2010 08:52 PM

Originally Posted by Hopeless Dork

Do protect yourself from disease and pregnancy, do protect your heart by making sure you only give your body to a man that has earned the right to share something so special with you. Do explore your own body and your own wants and needs and express those to your partner. If they don't want to please you, they don't deserve you pleasing them.

Very very very good advice here!

**KristenTheAlmighty** · 09-06-2010 08:59 PM

Thankyou both for the wonderful advice. Just a couple minutes here and I'm already feeling better about what's going on. Sex is such a taboo topic with my group of friends and I've never had somebody tell me that sex is just a okay. The guy and I as I said, did know eachother forever, so we have nooooo problem explaining to one and other what feels good and what doesn't feel good. I'm on the pill and we both have a large assortment of colorful condoms (taste the rainbow XD) at both our houses, (and I'll slip some in the purse if we're going out)

**LanaBear** · 09-06-2010 09:22 PM

Well, welcome to the forum! We're a lovable bunch, so you are in good hands.

Good for the both of you for taking the time to make sure you both are protected against "heat of the moment" times.

**jns** · 09-06-2010 09:27 PM

Originally Posted by Mes_T

You'll be fine.

If I can give one piece of advice for "beginners" it's this: Make sure YOU can orgasm, and that you teach your partner to bring you to orgasm. I don't know what was the deal with me, but honestly for the first couple of years I was having sex, neither I nor my partner paid much attention to my needs, it was all about the guy.

Good advice.

How old are you and your boyfriend?