how long should i wait before sleeping with someone?

**sarahlee20** · 09-06-2010 10:14 PM

Alright here's my story. I recently met a guy through an online site. Almost a week ago now.He messaged me and we had been talking and it was great. The day before we met i had told my aunt a bout who i was talking to and who i was going to meet. It turned out she had worked with him before at a animal shelter. So she knew some things about him. So after a few days of us talking and txting i met with him at the shelter and afterwards we went for coffee. We have been out 5 times since then. Talking everyday inbetween as well. This person has always been there for me and I can talk to him about anything and it is ovouisly how much he cares for me and i do for him. We are not offical together yet we are still going out and are getting to know eachother. This person has a good job and i know would be able to care for me. He has took care of me whenever we would go out and such. We have been getting to know eachother really well. My question is i have been wondering if i should sleep with him? I have been thinking about it alot. I like his company and enjoy being around him and he's a very sweet guy. The fact that i am wondering if it's too soon or not? I mean I want to and want to know how it feels. I would like to know everyones opinion? Thanks!!

**WildChild** · 09-06-2010 10:26 PM

Sarah it hasn't been all that long since you got out of a relationship and that was right on the heels of a broken engagement. Your willingness to get right back into dating is commendable but you are young and personally I think you might benefit from waiting a bit.

**sarahlee20** · 09-06-2010 10:40 PM

good idea thanks for the reply.

**WildChild** · 09-06-2010 10:45 PM

Just give yourself some time to be just yourself instead of part of a couple.

**Femme** · 09-07-2010 08:10 AM

Do it when you feel most comfortable. I actually had sex with my current boyfriend only 3 dates into it. I had known him for a few months before and so I didn't really feel like it was rushed. So... three dates, 5 dates, 10 dates. Whatever is most comfortable for you.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 09-07-2010 08:24 AM

Did I understand you correctly that you only meet him about a week ago?

If it has only been a couple weeks, saying that he's always been there for you, means significantly less than if you had known this guy for a year.

This person has a good job and i know would be able to care for me. He has took care of me whenever we would go out and such.

I don't even think you're at the point in this you should be considering whether or not he can "care for you". You're fairly newly out of a relationship, it's time to focus on caring for yourself.

You're moving at 100mph. It's crucial that you slow down. To me, sleeping with him at this point should be out of the question. I don't think you'd feel good about it after it was over. Give this guy time to get to know you...and you time to get to know him. Enjoy that....and don't push it farther than it's ready to go. Or more importantly, farther than you're ready for it to go.

**Texasred** · 09-07-2010 12:02 PM

Sarah, there's lots of good advice above, but concerning your origianl question, how long should you wait before having sex with someone, well...
I can think of people I've had relationships with for which the correct answer would have been "Forever!"

If I were you, though, I'd wait a bit.