Thread: My Lover Urinated on Me During Sex...PLEASE HELP!!!

His reaction as it's a "non-issue" would be a problem for me. You feel violated and disgusted (rightfully so!) and he's all non-chalant about it. He should be understanding, sympathetic and apologetic...assuring you that this will never happen again.

If he's not, I'd have to call it quits. Not simply because he urinated on you....but because his reaction to it and treatment of you in the matter, I'm afraid is a precursor to how he'll treat you going forward in and out of the bedroom.

Originally Posted by Hopeless Dork

How was his reaction when it happen? Did he immediately turn away from you when he realized what was happening or did he continue urinating? Was he mortified and appologetic with a kind of sincerity you are familiar with?

If it was an accident I'm sure the second it started happening he would have realized it was urine and stopped or if unable to , turned away from you as to not continue urinating on you... he would have immediately got you a towel and ran the shower for you and appologised like crazy, he would have been embarassed.

Whats his kink level? Has he ever expressed an interest in urinating on you? Because if so , I would not think it was an accident, also if he continued peeing on you after realizing what he was doing I would also not think it was an accident.

Him doing this without your consent is an EXTREME breach of trust in my opinion on par with a sneak attack anal penetration without consent or slapping or choking without prior consent. Its degradation at its worst, well I mean there is scat ... but other than that I can't think of a more humiliating thing someone could do to someone.

You've every right to feel upset, especially depending on how he handled the situation. If you are suspicious that this was no accident, think about other behaviors he exhibits and whether or not he is into control and shaming you, humiliating you or degrading you. There are some men that get a huge turn on out of making a woman feel like a peice of trash and they generally have boatloads of porn that cater to that fantasy.

Have you seen his porn collection? Do you know what type of material he finds most erotic? I would strongly think this was no accident if he has a folder filled with vids where the guys call women the Bword and order them to their knees etc roughing them up.

Sub-dom play can be rewarding in a relationship where both parties are consenting and bounderies are respected, but peeing on someone goes beyong domination and right into degradation which is a totally different ball game that is usually one females are not all that receptive to.

How does he treat you in general, would it come as a shock to you if he did this on purpose or has he displayed any signs that this may be something he wanted to try, with or without your approval?

Depending on his reaction and how my heart felt about his sincerity if I was to believe this was done on purpose and without my consent... I'd be out the door, the utter lack of respect in doing something like would be hard for me to feel loved or special or thought of as human, equal, etc by the man I love.

Thank you for the response. I have never known him to be kinky in the least bit, if anything he tends to veer towards missionary positions and seemed uncomfortable about experimenting with something that I had suggested in the bedroom. He did apologize and handed me a towel but once he went to the bathroom (to further relieve himself to a great extent), he seemed mostly like he just didn't want to talk about it. I would be shocked to find he'd done that on purpose, but you (and everyone else that replied) hit it on the head...I simply feel degraded. I can't be sure if he honestly did it by mistake or not (he did dispel a LOT of urine in the toilet afterwards, so clearly he did have to go), but the posters to this thread have helped me at least understand why I was so upset...even as an accident, he should have been MUCH more apologetic and sympathetic to my feelings than he was. You may all be right...I might be time for me to let him go if he can't even acknowledge that he did something that made me feel bad and do SOMETHING to make it right.

As someone previously stated, I thought that men were unable to urinate when erect.
Definitely sounds like a kink he's been interested in, but too shy to bring up.

Originally Posted by Beautiful Disaster

His reaction as it's a "non-issue" would be a problem for me. You feel violated and disgusted (rightfully so!) and he's all non-chalant about it. He should be understanding, sympathetic and apologetic...assuring you that this will never happen again.

If he's not, I'd have to call it quits. Not simply because he urinated on you....but because his reaction to it and treatment of you in the matter, I'm afraid is a precursor to how he'll treat you going forward in and out of the bedroom.

I think you and everyone else may be right...I feel disrespected and he doesn't seem to care. Everyone is just confirming how I was feeling that his reaction (whether the event was accidental or not) is completely inappropriate and suggests that he just doesnt respect me. Thank you for the response and the helpful advice.