Anal help and advice needed badly

**jwilson** · 09-08-2010 08:30 AM

I'm happily married but I work away from home for 6 months at a time in the far east. I go for occasional massages for relief with a happy ending, and my wife accepts this as long as it's a HJ or BJ.

The problem is one girl tempted me with anal sex, and it's amazing, now it's more like an addiction. My wife won't entertain it, and I cant let on I know how good it is. It's a flat no way reply to any suggestion without even trying it.

My fear is that this may be a make or break point, how can I persuade her to try?

**LanaBear** · 09-08-2010 11:08 AM

If she's not open to it, you can't persuade her. For some women this is an absolute no go.

The make or break was caused by you. If you would have stuck to the generous boundaries your wife gave you, you wouldn't know how good it is either. Fess up and be honest with her. Something tells me this hasn't been a one time thing, if it was, I don't think the word addiction would have been thrown in there.

**Hopeless Dork** · 09-08-2010 11:21 AM

If its a make or break point... thats pretty dang sad in my opinion. It sounds like you have a pretty understanding wife to begin with thats fine about you getting hand jobs and blow jobs from other women. But as much rope as she gave you, it wasn't enough... it wasn't enough that she was fine about you cheating on her with hooker (massage therapists that do happy endings) so long as you kept your penis out of their bodies... you had to go and put it in their bodies... putting yourself and worse, her, at risk of any number of diseases (even if you wore a condom, hello herpes and vaginal warts) and now you had anal with a prositutute against your wifes wishes and expect her to perform it or leave her... I know you didn't come here looking for judgment.. but maybe you'd be doing your wife a favor if you did leave her over the fact she won't give you anal like a seedy massage shop prostitute. Bleah.

**sallywi2003** · 09-08-2010 06:08 PM

I would need to agree with Lana if she does not want to have anal sex then I do not think she is going to be preseuded into it.

In regards to you wifes understanding for BJ and HJ she is a great lady personally I would not think about it. My BF is making a committment to me and that is where it should be. If you were that horny then you should have masturbated more than finding women. I also agree with Lana you do not have anal sex once and become addicted. You will have some work to get out of this one.

**rcoreyus** · 09-08-2010 06:43 PM

Once the novelty wears off, anal sex really isn't all that exciting for most men - it doesn't actually fell all that different. It does of course feel very different for women, some like it, some don't. I think everyone has a right to a happy sex life and if anal really is that important to you, you have a right to leave. But - it sounds like you have a VERY understanding and open wife, think hard before you give that up.

**jns** · 09-08-2010 08:56 PM

You are infatuated by anal sex. Is it with one girl or several? Are you lusting after one girl? I hope you are using protection.

**WannaBee** · 09-11-2010 09:47 AM

A male's perspective

Let's get a few things straight first:

jwilson is probably aware that what he did was not the best thing ever done.
However it happened and now there's no way claiming it didn't.

We do not know on which jwilson and his wife have agreed for HER. So let us not judge without full details...

Her body means Her Rules.
Simple as that.
Imagine someone wanted to enter you backdoor and you don't want it!

Assuming you love your wife and want your marriage to last for a loooong time, do not bring this topic up shortly after returning from a long trip abroad. Best not to bring it up at all.

The point is: It is her body, so she has to want to have anal sex with you. If she has no interest, then that is that. Quite simple really.

Now the question becomes, how do you get her interested?
Dropping hints or more direct action on your part is not going to work (I think you have already established this as a fact.)

Here are two things I can think of (and want to write about) that might change her mind.

1) Give it another two to three weeks.
Then go to a drugstore and buy some lube (we normally use D****Pla* [hope that is cryptic enough]). Do NOT suggest to use it on her. Tell her that you had some mates that really love their on backdoor getting fingered by their wives. And after long and painful considerations you decided that you want to try it.
In case you both like it, she might think about reversing roles.
As I said she MIGHT.
Maybe she has to first get comfortable with it, and so you have to go first a few times.
Again do not try to trick her or anything, it's her body. If she doesn't suggest it, then it's just too bad.

2) Get some massage oil (baby oil will do to, it just doesn't quite smell as great, as we all know).
Tell her to luy flat on her front side an massage her butt cheeks. Do not touch her rear entrance. Everything else in sight is fair game.
If it is your lucky day, she might tell you to go explore.

Keep us posted.

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