I have no libido or sex drive..PLEASE help me!

**avelana44** · 09-13-2010 08:36 PM

I'm 20 years old and have been with my boyfriend on and off for about 4 years, neither of us have had any other partners. I also have a uterine fibroid that is 10 cm, basically the size of my uterus, and had major bleeding problems in the past. To try and make my cycle more normal, they put me on Birth Control pills. I've been on BC pills since 8th grade due to this problem and about a year ago, I had no problems. Sex was great and I wanted it and I liked it. (And I have not switched pills for 2 - 3 years now I think). I am on BC pills continuously, I was instructed not to take a break on them. So now the bleeding has been controlled, but everything else is just gone! It hurts a LOT to have sex which makes it rather unenjoyable, and I really just don't ever feel like I want to or need to have sex. It's been a huge strain on my relationship recently. He started off being really understanding, and still very much is, but it's been tense lately. Is there ANYTHING I can do? I haven't had BC pills for a while now just to see if it would help and it really hasn't. And getting the fibroid removed is not an option..
So what do I do? =,(

**lizzardb63** · 09-14-2010 03:22 PM

Are you on any other medication? Possibly an antidepressant? Birth control pills are known for causing lower libido and low sex drive, including vaginal dryness. What can help for the painful sex is lubrication. Use from KY lube and it will help with a lot of the uncomfortableness. My libido was low when I was on birth control and once I went off, after a few weeks it came back, and so did my natural lubrication. I would continue to speak to your doctor about it, or if you feel they do not help much, try another doctor. Possibly a female who would understand better.

**avelana44** · 09-14-2010 04:50 PM

No, I'm not. I used to be a while ago but all I've been on is birth control, the occasional advil, and two other medications that I don't take very often to help control cramps and bleeding...but like I said I haven't taken either of those in quite a while.
I have found I haven't had much of a problem with wetness, when I have sex it isn't very dry but it still hurts. But I'll definitely keep that in mind. I'll have to try it out. My doctor has been pretty good, but they really don't know what to do, I guess it's not very common for a 20 year old to have a fibroid this massive... I haven't been really taking my birth control like I should be, not for probably about a month or two and it's still just not there :S
I know it's not a psychological reason for sure. I am stressed but I'm a stressful person and it's never affected me before... I love my boyfriend and I'm attracted to him and 90% of the time our relationship is pretty good
So that leads me to believe that isn't much they can do :S Are there certain birth controls that might cause lower sex drive and others that aren't so bad?
Maybe I should try switching it again?

Thank you for your response, also

This has been wearing on my nerves lately!

**sourpuss** · 09-14-2010 05:19 PM

Why can't you get it removed?

**jns** · 09-14-2010 06:05 PM

Do you and your bf enjoy oral. It sounds like the pain prevents you from enjoying sex.

**tesoro** · 09-14-2010 06:27 PM

Some BC pills have lower hormone levels. Maybe you could ask your doctor about trying one of those. It sounds like you are feeling very stressed. I think that could also be a contributing factor. Do whatever you can to relieve the stress from your body and mind, i.e., exercise, bubble baths w/candlelight, socializing with girlfriends, watching funny movies etc. In my experience, regular exercise does wonders for the libido. Also, talking to a counsellor/therapist may also alleviate some stress. That should be your priority right now - you may be in a vicious cycle that is partly controlled by your nerves. Take care of yourself.

**lizzardb63** · 09-14-2010 08:01 PM

I have a little lower libido too because of antidepressants I take, but I found some making out and "heavy petting" helps me get into the mood. The stuff you do when you first get into a relationship. Long makeout sessions, kissing of the neck, wondering hands, makes it exciting to take it to the next level. Sometimes when couples get into such a "routine" with their sex it can become less interesting or exciting, not that its less enjoyable, but you may not look forward to it as much because there isnt any mystery. I guess, it makes me feel like a new couple when we do those beginning things.

**Texasred** · 09-14-2010 09:35 PM

Originally Posted by lizzardb63

... What can help for the painful sex is lubrication.

Not when she has a uterine fibroid tumor the size of the uterus...

**avelana44** · 09-18-2010 02:18 AM

"Why can't you get it removed?" -- Because every way could impair my ability to have a baby. There aren't many options for it. They said when I'm ready to have a baby they'd take it out and see how my uterus is with the scarring and if it grows back..

Yes we enjoy oral but I bleed too much to actually receive anything myself. I have no problems with giving it but it gets kind of irritating and frustrating having to do it and get nothing back. I know that sounds kind of selfish but I'm afraid of resenting him, even though it's not his fault.

Yes I am stressed but I was more stressed a year and a half ago and it was better than ever then :/

As for the routine thing... honestly it isn't that. I'd kill to be happy and have sex lol

**Grateful Lady** · 09-18-2010 08:35 AM

I have been on Medication for anxiety issues for about 6 months. I have almost no sex drive. When my boyfriend initiates sex, it just makes me mad for some reason. However, I noticed that when I start things, I feel more powerful and sexual. It doesn't always work, but it's just a thought.