What's wrong with him?

**btifulfrefly08** · 09-16-2010 12:41 PM

My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year now. We live together and we do almost everything together. We used to have sex a lot, but now every month it's growing less frequent. I have tried dressing up, doing some role playing, even doing everything during sex, but we still only have sex like maybe 3 times a month. He says the only reason we don't have sex is because he's getting too old. He's only 26 years old! I don't believe him at all. I think he's just lazy.

Is there any way I can get him to stop being so lazy? I really need to find a way to make him hornier.

**lizzardb63** · 09-16-2010 01:42 PM

Is he really stressed out about something at work? Is he on medications? Does it seem like he has low self esteem? Maybe he is having some personal issues. I think the only way you'll ever know whats really going on is if you sit him down and tell him how not having sex will effect your relationship in the long run. The more pressure you put on him, might make him even more stressed. Try to really get to the bottom of it.

**btifulfrefly08** · 09-16-2010 05:46 PM

He seems really tired since school started back for him. But this has been going on for about 5 months. He's not really the kind of person to get stressed out about anything. But he does like to hide his true feelings a lot.

**johnny87** · 09-16-2010 10:14 PM

Originally Posted by btifulfrefly08

He's not really the kind of person to get stressed out about anything. But he does like to hide his true feelings a lot.

You could say the same thing about me. I generally have never felt stress or anxiety about... well, just about anything. If something is happening negative in my life, I usually deal with it internally (not burying it, because that's very unhealthy), and I'm fairly good at it. When my friends/girlfriend/family are around, I just want to get away from "myself" for a while and enjoy their presence.

What I've found with myself and others like me is that the same mechanism that lets me detach from stress and handle it more clear headed-ly is a mixed blessing. When I'm in the process of handling things, weird inconsistencies will happen in other areas of my life that seem unconnected.

Maybe this is what's going on, maybe not. Just something to chew on.

**jns** · 09-18-2010 12:24 AM

Originally Posted by btifulfrefly08

My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year now. We live together and we do almost everything together. We used to have sex a lot, but now every month it's growing less frequent. I have tried dressing up, doing some role playing, even doing everything during sex, but we still only have sex like maybe 3 times a month. He says the only reason we don't have sex is because he's getting too old. He's only 26 years old! I don't believe him at all. I think he's just lazy.

Is there any way I can get him to stop being so lazy? I really need to find a way to make him hornier.

If he likes porn, it could be what is interfering with a healthy sex life.

**btifulfrefly08** · 09-18-2010 08:20 AM

He doesn't really watch porn that much. He watches porn less than we have sex. I'm pretty sure he's just lazy.

**WildChild** · 09-18-2010 08:32 AM

Does he seem to be low energy in general?
Has he gained weight?
Do you ever feel you like he has pms?

There are a number of factors that could affect his testosterone levels. He is in the prime age group for testicular cancer. And no, just looking at or feeling his testicles won't tell you anything. My last husband had testicular cancer and had a grapefruit sized tumor in his abdominal cavity and perfectly normal looking testicles. Your young man should get in for a general physical and have his hormone levels checked. Low testosterone affects a lot more than a man's sex interest and can debilitate his health.

**btifulfrefly08** · 09-19-2010 10:41 PM

I should suggest that to him. He should have a yearly physical done. But his family has like no history of any cancers at all, but it's always better to be safe anyway.

**Jayla2251** · 09-20-2010 12:10 PM

If he's should get check ups and talk to a dr. if he's having problems. Talk to him about it. Does he even know that you are unhappy with the sex? It's a part of the relationship and needs to be figured out. My bf and I, after a few years started hardly ever had sex. And he wasnt the one who had a problem with it, that was me! lol. I brought it up to him. Do I have everything figured out? No. I dont think sex is something that when it gets good, or enough, you stop working on it. If he's "just lazy" and doesnt want to work on it, then why even be in the relationship?

**btifulfrefly08** · 09-21-2010 09:58 AM

Jayla that how I felt at first, that if he's not willing to work on it then what's the point in having this relationship. I did tell him about how it made me unhappy. Now we're kinda starting to have sex more often. We're on like 5 times in the past week, which is more than I usually get in a month, so I'm def. not complaining now.