lost virginity...a few questions

**wisteria5** · 09-17-2010 07:56 AM

I recently lost my virginity to my long-term boyfriend. He made sure that I was as comfortable as possible, but I am having a lot of conflicting emotions that I can't identify, even though I don't regret my decision. But in particular I am nervous because while it did not hurt or bleed, I didn't really feel any pleasure either. Is this normal? I usually have a decently high libido and so I don't think that was the problem. Does this apathy and lack of pleasure occur commonly the first time and will it disappear and start feeling more enjoyable?

Sorry for what is probably just a result of my next-day freak-out emotions, but I would really appreciate any advice. Thank you!

**WildChild** · 09-17-2010 08:10 AM

Give it time. This is a new experience and your body needs to find out what works with it.
I am multi orgasmic and usually oragam strongly with intercourse but with a new lover it may take a few times to get in tune. You are still finding your "tune". I recommend lots of practice.

**jns** · 09-18-2010 12:06 AM

What were you doing before having penetrative sex to set off fireworks? Try to incorporate those things in penetrative sex.

**SidneyAlive** · 09-18-2010 02:02 AM

Well it hurt me when it happened, and I had a hint of blood also, nothing much.. Nooooo I got no pleasure out of it either, it took a few times before it started to feel good or I could cum from it.. You just need time to get used to it thats all.

**jenn89** · 09-18-2010 08:20 AM

I agree with wildchild. This is a new experience for you, and it can take time to process and learn. It will get better in time.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 09-18-2010 08:42 AM

One of those things were practice truly does make perfect.

I highly doubt most women feel pleasure their first time, or even their first couple times really. It takes some women years to be able to orgasm, even though sex might feel good. Hang in there. Practice, practice, practice.

**ManINeedACoffee** · 09-20-2010 08:42 AM

There is nothing wrong with you, wisteria - it's not like the romance novels, you know? I don't really know anyone who actually enjoyed her first time having sex - for the majority of us, it hurts. I personally felt like I was being cleaved in half the first few times, despite how cautious and gentle my boyfriend at the time was. Like everyone else has said here, it takes time and practice. Using lubricant may also help, if you haven't tried it yet - especially if you're nervous. I think for the first few times especially, lots and lots of foreplay is important - it will help you to relax and also help to "lube" things up a bit.

Hang in there - it will definitely get better the more you do it.

**Jayla2251** · 09-20-2010 12:01 PM

I had no pleasure at all, no pain either.

**rozzierox91** · 09-21-2010 01:07 AM

well you not feeling pleasure could have just been a result of your nerves. When I lost my virginity, it didn't hurt me nor did I bleed at all. I did feel pleasure but my body was basically begging for the sensation. I didn't orgasm til I had been sexually active for 2 1/2 years. By that I mean penetrative sex. no need to worry just be patient, lay back, and try to enjoy!

**Agony_Aunt** · 09-21-2010 01:17 AM

I felt pleasure my first time, and my body and mind grew to want it more, but I didn't orgasm until a lot of practising on what worked and what didn't.
When you don't exactly feel pleasure the first time it can kinda put you off it, I know it did with me. But when you try more things and explore you will grow to want it more.
And when you're at full advantage of it, it is pretty good