"Safe window" for unprotected sex

**kristalyn_04** · 10-05-2010 07:04 PM

As many of you know, I've been casually seeing someone, as more of a FWB situation. We've been safe about it, using condoms and I am considering BC. We are both free of STI's... he was tested shortly before we started having sex and I hadn't had sex for over 5 years and only 1 partner who was clean.

Well, here's the deal... he wants to have sex without a condom, he says it feels better and he really wants to cum inside me. I would be ok with that, if it wasn't for the risk of getting pregnant. Supposedly, there is a "safe window" a few days after your period, where the risk of getting pregnant is very slim. I told him I still don't want to chance it, but he keeps pressing the issue. He thinks that BC will lower my sex drive. My cycle is pretty regular, and he said that he's had sex with a woman before during the "safe window" and nothing ever happened. I'm still skeptical, I really do NOT want to get pregnant right now, that really would be a very bad thing to happen while I'm still trying to establish my career and be comfortably able to support myself. Am I right in saying that a woman can get pregnant anytime during her cycle?

**ItsASecret** · 10-05-2010 07:14 PM

Supposedly, there is a "safe window" a few days after your period, where the risk of getting pregnant is very slim.

Relatively speaking this is true, key word relative. Fertilization and implantation can still occur even during your actual period so in actuality there is no real "safe window"....only "biologically speaking conception is not favorable after your period".

he said that he's had sex with a woman before during the "safe window" and nothing ever happened

This is called anecdotal evidence..."I did it, nothing happened, therefore there is a safe time". Obviously this is not true. Ask any woman who conceived when they thought they were in the clear and safe.

If you do not want to be pregnant then unprotected sex is not the way to go no matter how many buts or pleases are said.

**Trying Hard** · 10-05-2010 07:34 PM

A woman asks her doctor what is the best contraceptive.
He says ‘Orange juice’.
‘Before or after?, she asks.
‘Instead’, says the doctor.

After two or three days after your period, theoretically
you would be in the safe, if I recall correctly- I, and my girl friend did have
lots and lots of orange juice back in my time- but as the Lord and
you ladies work in mysterious ways, stress, etc, can indeed change
your ovulation, so… Do your homework. And good luck!

**jns** · 10-05-2010 07:48 PM

Look in Wiki under calendar based contraceptive methods for an idea of what a woman's cycle is like from a time basis. Remember sperm can stay alive for several days in a woman's inner folds. This is why pregnancy risk is somewhat greater shortly after menstruation (days 5, 6 and 7). Many people misunderstand which days are which.

**Texasred** · 10-05-2010 10:40 PM

There is only one "safe" period for unprotected sex, and it occurs in most women after about the age of 50...

**WildChild** · 10-06-2010 12:30 AM

Originally Posted by Texasred

There is only one "safe" period for unprotected sex, and it occurs in most women after about the age of 50...

And it is great! You get to be plenty horny and no worries, no muss no fuss.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 10-06-2010 06:35 AM

Don't do it.

Seriously.

And when I say don't do it..... I mean don't have unprotected sex, and don't go on BC pill. Obviously just my opinion, but what a better way to ruin a good sexual relationship than to start taking something that makes you lose your drive, gain weight, lose hair, have mood swings, feel tired, spot, etc. Not saying that happens to EVERYONE, but it happens to alot of women (check out the birth control board). I'd consider something like a cervical cap. It's something I'm going to be trying before long.

As far as without protection..... um...no.

It's too risky, AND, you'll spend so much of your time fretting. If Aunt Flow doesn't show up when she's supposed to, if you get sick at your stomach, if your boobs get sore, etc etc etc......you'll worry yourself.....trust me.

Don't do it. Tell him tough noogies!

**pretzel** · 10-06-2010 07:19 AM

Originally Posted by WildChild

And it is great! You get to be plenty horny and no worries, no muss no fuss.

Sounds like someone's bragging a little bit

**WildChild** · 10-06-2010 07:33 AM

Originally Posted by pretzel

Sounds like someone's bragging a little bit

Just enjoying it.
After years of dealing with BC; blood clots, allergies to the goop and, well the IUD was a no worry, no fuss deal...It is nice to have all that off the table.

Kristalyn, you have two reasons not to do this. One is the conception concerns and the other is that in a FWB can you really be certain of monogamy? Many STIs are for life or death. How much do you really trust this man? Do you trust him with your life?

**kristalyn_04** · 10-06-2010 01:05 PM

Yeah you guys are right, I have been sticking to my guns and telling him no, I just wanted some more opinions. As far as BC, I've looked into those and I have plenty of friends on the pill. The last time I was in a relationship I was on the Depo shot, which I will never go on again because it made me gain weight like crazy, but that was the only side effect I had. My friends say the side effects for them on the pill are very minimal, and they've never had any hair loss. So idk, I think I'm going to talk with my doc about it even if I decide not to do it. Instead I might look into a diaphragm or something similar, since he says he can't feel much with a condom on. Thanks everyone.