The Signal....

**WFO** · 10-07-2010 04:43 PM

Need suggestions for how my wife and I can let each other know beforehand when we are , shall I say, "available and interested". We both get tired and fatigued, and there are some other times when for her it is not a good idea, so it doesn't always turn out too well when one of us tries to get some from the other but the other is just not into it. Need to have a signal that is innocent enough so the kiddos won't ask what it means but still leaves the message for both to see that tonight, in the morning, whenever, would be good to have a little private party together. Any suggestions?

**Trying Hard** · 10-07-2010 06:57 PM

Maybe saying something subtle like;

‘I’m interested, if you are’

‘Wanna play doctor?’

‘Nothing good on the telly tonight’ :- )

‘I gave the kids the sleeping pills; what know?’

‘Let’s shock the new neighbors!!’

‘Let’s misbehave’

‘My Viagra is wearing off; come on…’

(Let’s see if other members come up with some ideas;
Sorry, I’m not very creative tonight :- (

**Allie602** · 10-07-2010 07:53 PM

You could plan to have a day or two where say Sat & Sun that you have sex no matter what. Then select two days when you will just cuddle, no sex. That leaves 3 days up for grabs, a way not to feel rejected - make it nonverbal.

**Hopeless Dork** · 10-08-2010 10:59 PM

The signal could be non verbal... if you have been with someone a long time there are body signals they give when they are 'frisky' pay attention to those... there are also signals they give when they are closed off... you each pay attention to each others body languages you should be able to get a feel for whether or not its the right time and if there is any ambiguity you could always just say you feel like being 'close' tonight... or ask her if she is in the mood for some extra special attention. I dont think we can come up with a way for you guys to inniciate sex with each other that all your time of being together hasn't already shown you.

I can always tell when my boyfriend is feeling frisky because he touches me more often, and how he touches me and where lets me know what he has on his mind. He also has a way of making it clear when he is needing space, he hugs me still, but doesn't grope lol

( I love the groping!!) or he might touch my thigh when we sit close but he doesn't caress it, and when he he caresses it, again I know the mood is 'frisky'... He can tell that I am in the mood whenever I am talking to him, or looking at him, or sitting by him... if I am in the same room as him, lol... its easy to tell if I am in the mood because unless I'm mad, I'm in the mood :P

**WildChild** · 10-09-2010 08:16 AM

LOL HD you sound like I was with the LOML, if he was anywhere near or I was thinking of him, I was in the mood - 2 1/2 years later I still was. I doubt if he'll find that again but I wish him and his favorite partner, "Rosie", well.

**Texasred** · 10-09-2010 11:14 PM

Originally Posted by WFO

Need suggestions for how my wife and I can let each other know beforehand when we are , shall I say, "available and interested". We both get tired and fatigued, and there are some other times when for her it is not a good idea, so it doesn't always turn out too well when one of us tries to get some from the other but the other is just not into it. Need to have a signal that is innocent enough so the kiddos won't ask what it means but still leaves the message for both to see that tonight, in the morning, whenever, would be good to have a little private party together. Any suggestions?

And then you need to have a set of signals that say, "And this time I really mean it!" to distinguish from those occasions when you definitely, no question about it, absolutely get "the signal," only to have her say "Not tonight - I'm tired" after you've taken the Cialis (and waited an hour for it to take effect), the kids have gone to bed, the dishes are put in the dishwasher, and you finally get to bed.
Having gone through that more times than I care to count, I confess I'd REALLY like to know what the "This time I really mean it" signal is...

Or not, at this point.

**Trying Hard** · 10-10-2010 10:10 AM

Guy comes home and says to his wife:

‘So, how is your back now?’
‘My back is fine, why do you ask?’
‘Maybe it was somebody at work. So, is the stomach ok?’
‘Yes, my stomach is ok!’
‘Funny; was it the head, then?’
‘No, I’m alright!!
‘Are you sure? That’s nothing wrong with you?
‘No, I’m perfectly fine.’
‘A little tired, maybe?
‘No, I’m not!
‘Great!! Let’s have sex!! :- )

**baja** · 10-10-2010 06:00 PM

And she responds... "I'm not in the mood."

**Allie602** · 10-10-2010 06:31 PM

Originally Posted by Trying Hard

Guy comes home and says to his wife:

‘So, how is your back now?’
‘My back is fine, why do you ask?’
‘Maybe it was somebody at work. So, is the stomach ok?’
‘Yes, my stomach is ok!’
‘Funny; was it the head, then?’
‘No, I’m alright!!
‘Are you sure? That’s nothing wrong with you?
‘No, I’m perfectly fine.’
‘A little tired, maybe?
‘No, I’m not!
‘Great!! Let’s have sex!! :- )

This is so cute. ; }

**jns** · 11-14-2010 08:41 AM

The trouble is that people want to feel desired, so they will throw out signals as if they are ready to go. Then when asked, they will give an excuse of why they aren't interested.

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