Accepting that men can not make me orgasm

**BSimple** · 10-11-2010 10:39 PM

I actually just thought of something...I can't even make myself orgasm in front of a guy. Only when I am alone. Obviously is a mental thing.

**stressed** · 10-11-2010 10:39 PM

Originally Posted by dr.mansview

if you are upfront to your partner and simply say "i don't orgasm with a man", he may take that as a challenge and go the extra mile in effort..

... or panic/be lazy/give up.

Mes, that's a tough one, but I think it's better to say it at some point. You can explain why and one year is not THAT much of time together, it's still within the time of "learning about each other". Better sooner than later. If it hasn't happened with anyone else then he won't be overly hurt. Besides, he's never asked you, you haven't lied, and it's not exactly easy to tell your partner anyway. There's more to gain by saying it.

**BSimple** · 10-12-2010 06:15 AM

I cant orgasm in front of a guy though

**lonestar** · 10-12-2010 08:34 AM

You will once you trust them.

**CharlesV** · 10-13-2010 12:23 AM

Its sad to hear this. If you can do it yourself, but not with a partner, then its something in your head that should be fixable..

Excluding stressed explantions of a lazy lover (kick them to the curb and get a man who cares!) then you need to explore those feelings of dread of "letting go" in front of a man.

Thats the reason sex is so good for a relationship, it requires letting your guard down, extreme intimacy, trust and the bliss of letting go.

Don't give up, try a few glasses of wine, acupuncture, yoga, whatever you can to relax and let go, its worth it.

**BSimple** · 10-13-2010 06:52 AM

As sad as it is, I have been disappointed by men my whole life. I have been divorced for 7 years and have not had a relationship since. To me, guys just arent worth the effort anymore. i really have no desire to have a boyfriend, I enjoy my independence to much. Maybe in the future I will meet someone that will change my mind but as of right now...I love being free! I am in the best shape of my life, have a great job and I am moving forward without a man. Guys dont come up to me anyway. I am 6 ft tall which may be intimidating to some. They stare a lot but that is about it. So I guess what I am saying is until someone proves me wrong, men just are a big disappoint and are not worth it.

**masterchief** · 10-13-2010 08:35 AM

You've just not found the right guy yet. Or maybe looking too hard or in the wrong places.

If someone is willing to learn with you and you accept it might not go right for a while, then it can be fun along the way.

**orchiddreams** · 09-14-2011 12:22 AM

I think it might actually be a relief for a man to hear that you can enjoy without feeling like you have to climax it might release tension for both of you. It may actually release your mind blocks as well. Who knows! Experiment with it and see how your partner(s) respond with the different approaches you take.