Thread: blowjob vs. eating out.

Yep, We're both young, I'm 19 he's almost 20, both eachothers first sexual partners and we've been together for 3 years. Our relationship is fantastic, it really is...my head and my heart could burst with the amount of love i'm full up of!

As I said in a previous post, I spoke to him about it and things have changed but we'll see how long it lasts for.

I did feel selfish holding the blowjobs hostage after spoiling him (which was my doing and I allowed it to be that way) so I could get some loving but I've never felt more worthless then when we're kissing passionately with the possibility that it could lead to anything...then all you get is your head pushed southwards. Which was the case for far too long!

Now that we've spoken about it and I know he's more willing to do it and does it without me having to gesture. Lately, even passionate kissing is enough to get me seriously in the mood...he doesn't even need to go down on me to get me super wet anymore, just kissing does it. So yes, after all of that it may seem a bit pointless to kick up a fuss. But the fact my boyfriend now wants to please me, it would seem that that in itself is almost foreplay enough.

It didn't help that I loved/love giving him BJ's...when we're getting a bit steamy sometimes I just need to feed the urge! So it was quite hard to actually cut down and resist going to town on him haha theres an addictive personality for you.

What ever you do don't marry this guy trust me he will never change, I thought my husband and I would do it more after we got married but boy was I wrong. I have the same problem you have only I'm married so I'm stuck.

I think he will now he's aware he was doing it

Jezzz, I just read all this stuff, man, o man, I'm glad I live down here in Costa Rica. It's night and day. Sorry, I'm off my subject of skin health and beauty.

ending a relationship because of sex isn't a completely unfounded thing. sex is incredibly important in a relationship - how often you do it, how you do it, what needs to be done when you do it. if you can't come to terms with each other sexually and keep it to where the both of you are satisfied, the relationship remains uneven and keeps the person unhappy.

if your boyfriend, say, made you breakfast every couple of mornings and it was so horrible it made you throw up, or get very sick in some way, but also sometimes enjoyable... would you want him to keep doing it? if you asked for pancakes and he made you scrambled eggs, which you don't enjoy very much except for sometimes, would you want him to keep doing it for you?

its a bad analogy, but to put it in a different situation its this: either you can handle something that makes you happy that has no discernible change or end in sight, or you can't and it has to end.

there ARE other fish in the sea, you know.

only suggestion for approaching the boyfriend: be VERY gentle about it. men are SO easily thrown off by any criticism of their sexual abilities that it can really upset things in the relationship.

I am glad things are better. I have the feeling that you are too ready to please him without his doing anything for you. No matter how much you want to give unconditionally, resist. Not to be mean but to keep the passion between you if you love each other. Young woman are far more apt to want to please the man and expect little because they want the boy to like them. But as you get older you want more.

There is noting more frustrating than seeing a man have all the orgasms using your body and be happy as a clam while you are unfulfilled. If you don't say anything then you cannot blame him. Men learn to be good lovers from the women they love. He wants to please you because he loves you but, you have to let him know what you need, men aren't pre programed. You have to teach him not to be a selfish lover and to take care of you.

So don't slip back into the same unbalanced sex by being too giving, accept his pleasing you. Sometimes there is a tendency to go back to old habits, if his effort to please your are short lived or he just does it to get something from you, then he may never become a considerate lover. Help him to be the good lover, be persistent and clear that you expect a mutually satisfying relationship. Hey, Never let a man push your head down, you are not a sex toy, don't be treated like one. That will make you feel frustrated and used and if another man came along and was more attentive this guy may lose out.

The advice about being careful is annoying. Why should a woman be frustrated sexually and have to carefully talk to a man about it? If the sex is bad then a woman needs to be forthright in a caring way. She has to assume that he does not know and would be glad to know how to please her. If you have to walk on eggshells and he gets affronted when you tell him what you need then it's best to move on to a man with a stronger ego. Oversensitivity is counterproductive and does not make for a long-term satisfying sexual relationship. If a man has too fragile an ego to listen then, he is destined to end up in a sexless marriage, no woman will have sex with a man long-term if she gets nothing out of it. I don't think woman should worry about male fragile egos, just be clear, kind and compassionate but persistent about what you need. If he is too fragile, move on.

Any man who is reluctant to please a woman orally deserves a good whack upside the head. It doesn't really matter if that reluctance is based on some irrational fears about her hygiene or simply on the fact that his tongue is not connected to his penis.

Originally Posted by tex

any man who is reluctant to please a woman orally deserves a good whack upside the head. It doesn't really matter if that reluctance is based on some irrational fears about her hygiene or simply on the fact that his tongue is not connected to his penis.

amen brother!!!