BJ Complex!!!

**Beautiful Disaster** · 10-24-2010 06:12 PM

I have this weird prob and I wonder if anyone can relate. I used to love giving bj's. When I was with my bf of 5 years, I did it pretty regularly and always brought him to climax with no problem. I enjoyed it. The feeling I got when I brought him to the big O was amazing. But then something happened. My relationship after him was not a good one, and even in the sex department I felt inferior. Sometimes I couldn't get him off even vaginally (I later found out he was addicted to pain meds which could've been part of the prob). Either way, it was something I was NOT use to and it made me feel like I wasn't pleasing him. Thus...the complex began and has been with me since. The most noticeable area is oral sex. The problem is not me wanting to do it, because I do. I know how to do it....so that's not the problem either. It's just that for some reason, ever since this "complex" started, my mouth goes dry as soon as I start. I mean like cotton mouth, couldn't spit if I tried to, DRY. It's extremely difficult to give a good BJ with a dry mouth let me tell ya.

Does anyone else have this problem? Maybe keeping a glass of water nearby would help, but it's not usually something I have planned out in advance. What can I do to get past this? Should I talk to the new guy I'm dating about my "complex" so that he understands and will be patient for me to get comfortable enough to lose the complex?

I know....weird post....but well, it's life. lol HELP!!

Sincerely,
Cotton-Mouth

**WildChild** · 10-24-2010 06:16 PM

Dear Cotton Mouth,

Definitely talk to him about it so he knows what is going on with you. My guess? As you get more comfortable this will subside. In the meantime how about trying some different things like whipped cream, chocolare sauce or mints?

**TJPatriot** · 10-24-2010 06:39 PM

You just need to be comfortable with it. I recently was unable to sustain/achieve an erection because stress was getting to me about things. Once I was able to relax, I have no problem performing multiple times a day if I/she so desires it. The mind is a powerful thing. Relax and everything will fix itself.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 10-24-2010 06:40 PM

Thanks WC. I experienced a little bit of this last night. We were just "playing" as we're not to the point we're ready to have sex. I decided to lick around that area a bit just to get him all fired up. So fortunately, it wasn't a full on BJ but even just doing what I was doing, I noticed my dry mouth. Then I got to thinking "wonder if it will be like this when I do actually want to give him a BJ!" and so now, my nerves have overridden my enjoyment, my ability to fantasize about this happening. It SUCKS (no pun intended).

**kristalyn_04** · 10-24-2010 08:36 PM

If you suck on a mint or hard candy for a few seconds before maybe it will help activate the salivary glands.

**lizzardb63** · 10-24-2010 09:09 PM

Until you get used to it and produce your own saliva, for the time being there are "blow job lubes" that are flavored and super slippery for him. I use it for fun with my boyfriend, to mix it up a bit and it helps with my jaw. Perhaps you could subsitute with that until things subside? I use "great head" from Pure Romance. There are flavors like, Strawberry, bubblegum, blueberry, and butterscotch.

**foxdana** · 10-25-2010 01:30 AM

I have a strawberry flavoured lube I use and that stuff has staying power, lasts for ages, so you don't need to top up!

**Beautiful Disaster** · 10-25-2010 06:34 AM

Thanks for the suggestions. After thinking about it more, I think part of what I experienced the other night could've been lack of hydration. I thought back to what I had drank that day, and other than coffee that morning and wine that night, I had no water, no hydration. On a typical day I drink LOTS of water. But that day, I had practically nothing to drink and then made out (heavy breathing) for two hours before. SO, maybe that was a PART of it.

I like the idea of the lube though, gonna give it a try. Mints are a great idea too.