Would guys end a relationship because of lack of expierence?

**AnastasiaRose** · 10-27-2010 02:40 PM

I'm 24, and I have BARELY dated. Reason being is my first heart break when I was 16 hit me really hard and never wanted to go through it again and I was always very shy and anti-social/picky. I also found it hard to meet guys. I thought there was going to be that 1 guy I would be together forever and he'd never hurt me but i was stupid. I'm feeling kinda angry at myself for wasting many years, and you should date to get expierence and then find the one.

Anyways... My ex whom im still hung up over unforcenately told me I go too attached and that freaked him out, we had no chemistry with conversation but then I am very shy and I didnt know what to say and also, the sex was an issue. He said I was scared of it (due to my expierence and I was taken advantage of before) but I mean he said some girls are good at it naturally some aren't... but I feel nobody ever really taught me sex and he didn't either. I dont understand how people can just get sex without really having it before. Am I crazy to say I feel that these are minor issues and they could have changed if he made the effort and the only reason we didn't work out is because he was being a douchebag who went and cheated on me with someone else and gave my chlamydia? what do you think?

**Mes T** · 10-27-2010 03:59 PM

No one "gets" sex right away. It's a learn-as-you-go process for everyone, and if he thinks otherwise then clearly his idea of good sex is very different from the rest of our's. I wouldn't be surprised if he thought great sex was humping for a minute or so and him ejaculating.

Hallelujah.

I hope you forget about this guy asap. People change drastically between the ages of 16 and 24, you're a different person now, so is he, it's time to truly move on. Doesn't sound like you guys had much of a relationship in the first place anyway! And plus, just 16 years old? Think about 16 year olds who are around nowadays. How many of them will actually stay with the person they are now, as they get older?

No guy worth having will end a relationship with you over inexperience. Besides, even "experienced" people have a LOT to learn with each new relationship, as everyone's bodies are so different.

Chin up my friend! Enjoy your life, be happy, and soon someone will beg to share it with ya.

**AnastasiaRose** · 10-27-2010 06:38 PM

What I meant is when I was 16 I was heartbroken by a guy and i never dated again until I was 23 which was the same age as this guy. I realize I do have to move on, I was just asking if I did anything wrong. It seems that I did not, as I treated him well and he said the reason he ended things was due to me getting too attached/me being shy aka no chemistry/ me not having much sexual expierence.

But you answered my question someone who really likes me will work on getting past my "inexpierence" as that is something you can change about a person. I can see ending relationships over incompatibility, not getting along with friends/family, being down right mean but not for inexpierence as it can change if you both make the effort to work on things. I undertsand most guys want expierenced girls so that's definitely what Im going to work towards.

**TJPatriot** · 10-27-2010 07:10 PM

I'd rather a girl be less experienced, so I can learn with them. But then I was a virgin until a few months ago (I'm 25) so that effects things. I'd also rather my girl be less experienced because I don't want to be compared to some other guy, so the fewer past guys the better.

The only issue with an inexperienced girl is that it might be because she's not "into" sex and then there wouldn't be much in the relationship because of it. But that's about the only negative for me.

**AnastasiaRose** · 10-27-2010 08:04 PM

I definitely agree with you but at our age there really isn't many inexpierenced people which is WHY i regret my decison on not dating in the past. hey we cant change the past but move on from the future...

the ex I was talking about had been with 10+ girls so he knew what he was doing I tried to hide my inexpierence from him but it showed which was a mistake for not telling him. Even so, he should of made the effort to work on things as getting expierenced takes time/practice but he just gave up on me too soon. And I think your both right if someone likes you well enough they will "work on stuff" with you and if it doesn't get better part ways. What me and him had were minor issues not huge issues.

**WildChild** · 10-28-2010 11:15 AM

Its all a learning experience. He could have had 100 women, that doesn't mean he's a good lover, maybe good at getting them into bed but not necessarily any good once they got there. The same thing goes with women. What makes a good lover for one may not do it at all for another.

Sometimes you get really lucky and all just clicks and the sex is amazing from the first. But that doesn't guarantee that everything else will fall into place or that it will all stay that way. It take skill, it takes willingness to work at it, takes a willingness to learn and it can take time. I'm a lot more experienced than you are and seeing a man who has had training in tantric techniques. We aren't in love but we are good friends and enjoy each other's company and share common values regarding the need for sex to be healthy people. Its certainly not a passionate, romantic interaction but there is attraction and affection. We've been sexually involved for a couple months and its taken this long to get to where we are becoming really responsive to each other. I rode the wave for a good 10 -15 mins the other day, that's worth building up to. That takes two people working together.

Don't limit yourselves for reasons of pride. If you stitck to people who have less experience or equal lack of experience you may miss out on some real education and pleasure. Get out there and explore! Learn your body, learn other's bodies, find out what works, find out that different things work at different times with different people. Don't lable and box yourself or others in. You need a healthy, playful attitude toward sex and pleasure. Look for partners who share that. Educate yourself on safe sex, read, learn and explore!

**WildChild** · 10-28-2010 11:16 AM

People who are really into sex love to not only experience pleasure but to help others experience it.

**AnastasiaRose** · 10-28-2010 03:32 PM

I do agree i need to expierence other bodies but before I do I need to be emotionally over this guy. And I shouldnt blame my self for expierence as it take 2 to change it.

**Hopeless Dork** · 10-28-2010 03:48 PM

When you ask a guys what makes the best sexual partner... most won't say experience, they will say ENTHUSIASM. I advise just being yourself, I know its hard and your shy, but when you are yourself, and you let go and get into it... it doesn't matter about moves, positions, its all about attitude. Ask guys what makes the best blow job, they wont usually mention a specific move, but instead say... a woman that really wants to be down there doing it, thats having fun and enjoying herself and really loving pleasing him is what makes a good bj.

You don't get all that with 'experience' you get it with learning to relax, stopping to worry if you will look or sound stupid and remaning quiet can come off as disinterest rather than shyness and typically guys don't want to feel like they are having sex with a dead body, so a good lover is an active lover, one that touches him and kisses him, that lets him know when something feels good, that moves her body trying to achieve her own pleasure during the act, in other words, let your hair down and get into it.

Same with conversation, I bet your friends and family think you are smart, clever and have amazing opinions... do the guys you date know it? Do you let your personality shine? Or do you sit and nod and go along with what they say because you are nervous? To make a strong emotional /mental connection, you have to break free of your fears of saying or doing something wrong and just be as you are as you would be with someone you weren't interested in... this allows the men you date to KNOW YOU, and they can't fall for you if they don't know who you are, what you think, how you feel... so don't hide that stuff.

**MiniVanMan** · 10-28-2010 06:39 PM

Enthusiasm, that's it exactly. Be happy, interested, and try new things and he'll be all over you.

I've been with one virgin. We were together for three years. She was AWESOME because all she knew was what I had taught her. Everything she did turned me on because she learned it from me. And she LOVED to please me, which falls into that enthusiasm category.