Thread: Low Sex Drive Need advice Please.....

HELP!!
I am 45 years old and married my high school sweetheart. I have been married 27 years. I truly do love my husband dearly, but do not have the same sex drive as in the past. My thought is after being married for all these years, I just don't need it as much.
I could go without sex for long periods of time, my husband on the other hand says he still wants sex at least 5 days a week.
It is really the only thing we fight about.
He also likes to have anal sex, which I have never been obsessed with like him. He likes to have anal sex EVERY time we have sex.
I have told him I do not like to have anal sex every time, which he says he will try to obstain from only to push the issue when we have sex the next time around because he feels if he goes without one or two times he has obstained long enough.
I do see this causing trouble in our relationship and he has hinted he thinks I am having an affair because if I am not having sex with him, I must be having it with someone but as I said before I do not need sex as much as him.
He also likes to watch porn with anal sex, and as I have explained to him about the porn stars who have anal sex is......
1. they are getting paid to do that and
2. it is different girls in different movies with different men who are still having anal sex, not the same women with the same man in the same relationship for 27 years.........
Anyone out there who has been married as long as I have, how many times a week/month are you having sex with your spouse?

How long have you has your sex drive been decreased?

It has been for approx 5 months now.

Does he please you sexually? Are you having orgasms? Its no wonder you are not excited to have sex if it ALWAYS has to be anal. He needs to compromise with you on that. Not ALL women get pleasure from it, the fact you are willing to do it so much for him shows how much you care for his pleasure... instead of him appreciating it, he's taking it for granted. If he keeps pushing for a type of sex that you don't enjoy EVERY SINGLE TIME you do it, its only going to lead to resentment, which will then slow your drive down obviously.

Hopefully he is making some efforts to make sex pleasurable for you, perhaps you can show him what YOU want to do, what feels good to YOU... and then you guys can compromise on the anal so that its not every single time, thats way too much ... in my opinion. There is so much prep work involved in anal sex, then dealing with feeling dialated after.. me and my boyfriend tried a couple of times and I'd definitely do it again with him in the future , but I would never want that to be a staple in our sex life... even if i started to like it, that wouldn't be a nightly menu choice.

I've been with my husband for 7 years now and married 2. We both like having anal sex, but I'm a little afraid of having it too much because my anal rectum muscle might become flaccid, so I avoid doing it too many times. It's definetely more pleasurable for most men (please correct me guys if I'm wrong!) because it's a tighter sensation than vaginal sex. But if it's not as pleasurable for you as it is for him, or if you're starting to think "Here we go again" before sex, then you really need to rethink what YOU want out of your sex life. He shouldn't be the one in charge of what happens during your sex life, it should be good and pleasurable for the both of you. Maybe he's just so used to doing it anal (the tight feeling) that he doesn't get much joy out of vaginal sex? I would definetely recommend that you guys talk about this before it causes any more fights and sorrow, you've been together for too long to let something like this come between you. The solution here could be using sex toys to spice up your sex life. You could buy some kind of sex toy that you put on his penis to make it feel tighter for him? I was looking at some options and there are millions of them out there, take advantage of it!
I hope you guys can talk about this and solve this, good luck.

I persoannly do not like it, tried it once and won't try again unless it was requested. These situation are always tough because you never know how the other person reacts. Do you think if the anal advances decreased you would be more likely to have more sex?