I have no objections as long as all the participants really want to do it and understand what they are getting into. OTOH, I think a lot of people who think they can have sex without any emotional attachment discover that they are wrong. I don't have any moral objections, but I think it is a minefield and would recommend against it for most people.
Just keep in mind that the fantasy you have of watching your wife with another man, and the actuality of seeing another man with her might be two completely different things. You would not be the first to discover that you didn't really want what your mind fantasized that you wanted.
Do you really want to open a box that can't ever again be closed?
Some things are better kept as fantasies....like this one.
What IF it doesn't go as "planned" or "hoped"...whose "fault" is it?
Seems like too much can go "wrong" for this to be a positive experience for either of you.
Then again, honestly, I tend to be a bit more closed minded and conservative perhaps then my friends in this forum.
I echo SA. These are things to think of.Originally Posted by Seeker_Advice
If you value your marriage, I concur with most here that the reward is not worth the risk. You may be in the right head space after the deed but she could well not be. I have thought of the same purely from the perspective of wanting to see my wife in a highly arroused state, but I love her too much to risk it. I'm sure she would not want to do it though.
Any time you want to go outside a relationship sexually, whether it's for a threesome, wife swapping, or whatever, and you introduce a third party, you're asking for trouble. It's easy to say nothing bad is going to happen, but even for most men sex isn't purely a physical activity and there are emotions involved, and it's very easy to set yourself up for some drama that isn't worth whatever satisfaction you might gain.
I know people who are polyamorous and members of the sex positive community who have done this for years within that commuity. However this is a lifestyle, not just an experiment. They interact with others of the same view and have very strong conditioning for safe sex and really for emotional protection too. If you do this you may well be opening a can worms. Give it very careful consideration. Once that door is open you can't go back, even if you never do it again.
We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer
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