Thread: About to give up...help please

This is my first time on anything like this I usually wouldn't but I don't have any other way to deal with this. I have been with my boyfriend for over 1 year and everything is great between us but he suffers from severe premature ejaculation. It's definetly taking a toll on us as a couple, I try to support everything he does and try to help him find a solution as obviously we have talked about it numerous times. He went to the doctor and they talked about a million different things that could cause it, but he claims he was never like it with any other women before. I really am starting to feel like it's all my fault or I'm doing something wrong but I know if we don't fix this soon our relationship won't last much longer just because it causes us to argue a lot. He works away from home so we see each other each month for a week or so and I want to make the best of that time, I'm just feeling like he's not attracted to me or something. It's getting to the point where I don't want to have sex because as much as I love him it gets frustrating when everytime we have sex I'm left unsatisfied and I don't know what to do or say anymore, every time we talk about it he gets upset but I want him to realize I love him and care about him so much but we have to solve this problem. He wants kids sometime soon and I feel like we should get ourselves on track before we start anything like a family. Anyways any advice I will listen to but I need help,...it's breaking me up inside to think this is why we would end.

You could try a hand job or blow job before you have sex. He will most likely last longer the 2nd time around. If he isn't having sex for the other 3 weeks you don't see each other, that could also be a reason why he cums so soon. He can practice by stopping everytime he feels close, waiting a minute, and stopping, and going so he learns control.

You see each other for one week each month, I can't blame the guy. And it obvioulsy isn't something with you if he is cumming so quickly. I can understand your frustration though. Sometimes these things can be quite mental especially if he is aware of it and is thinking/expecting it is going to happen again. What about getting him off orally or manually first and then going back for some sex later, do you think that would help?

Mr. Inquisitive, we basically said the same thing....lol

Premature ejaculation would be a sign being OVER excited by you, not UNDER excited, not finding you less attractive... but instead quite possibly finding you MORE attractive..

Why don't you guys quit worrying about how long he lasts and instead focus on him pleasing you in other ways prior to intercourse, he could orally or manually stimulate you to orgasm as foreplay and then have sex with you without any performance pressure.

You could also try bringing him to orgasm orally or manually first, or through a quickie first... then do something sexy together and build it back up to a round 2 which will surely last longer.

Try this: Girl comes first. Have him pleasure you with his mouth and/or fingers until you come. Then let him get down to business. There is no trememdous pressure to perform and both of you are satisfied. But wait. Don't jump out of bed just yet. Spend some time talking and cuddling then go for round two. Men vary in their refractory period, but generally after a few minutes he will be ready for round two. I can guarantee that the 2nd time will take much longer.

I understand your frustration but you should feel good about it that he is so excited when he he sees you and you begin to make love he has a premature ejaculation. I agree with everyone above give him oral sex or a hand job and then he will last longer the second time. Also make sure he does alot of foreplay with you to make you satisfied before he has his second orgasm. I understand but try doing this and see what happens.

Thanks for the advice, the thing is we have tried the manual and oral stimulation til he orgasms already, and we wait and try a second time but the same thing, so we have tried waiting different lengths of time in between. And as far as him stimulating me orally or manually we have tried that too.

actually.. this may sound bad, but sometimes i wish my guy would come faster than he does. sometimes it takes so freaking long..(which can start to hurt... ) i would be happy if i were you and at least had the option of a quickie!!

Learn him better... I can make mine go fast or make it last longer.. but i know him i can read his signals so if i see hes about to i stop.. sometime i go down on him hours I do it till he's about to and stop.. I literally do this while watching tv or a movie. I know if i hit a definate rythme he's done and dont add a hand its over but if i keep mixing up rhythms(sp) and keep stoping it last a while, during sex I know if i position my hips a certain way he will go fast. Get on top so you can control the rythme I also noticed if he's on top and he's about to he will jump out of it and thump it I dont know if it hurts but it stops him from cumming. Also not condoning alcohol, but i noticed if he drinks it last a lot longer too and if we keep switching positions, but we are so open with each other we can talk about anything and neither one of us gets offended so that takes a lot of stress out of it