impossible to have sex
I can't have sex. I'm so tight I bleed, some guys can't even get it in and some can. I don't know how to cum, how to orgasm, how to find my g spot, the best way to masturbate, do oral or even anal or what to do during ssex. Please help! I don't want to be inexpierenced anymore
Alright, first of all you need to find someone who is willing to work with you on this and be understanding. People don't learn how to be "good in bed" after one or two times. If I could suggest anything about the tightness and bleeding, start out with him fingering you with 1 finger and gradually move to 2 fingers. This will stretch you out and possible make the pain more bareable. Another thing is maybe until you get used to it, use lube. You're probably bleeding because you're tearing. Lube will make it easier for your skin to stretch and will make it easier to slide in. Sometimes it might take a while to get it in, but it will be a better experience if its with someone who is willing to take the time and be gentle with you.
~Today, any person can fight the battles of one day It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternity's- yesterday and tomorrow, that we break down. It is not the experience of today that drives people mad. It is the remorse of bitterness for something which happened yesterday and the dread of what tomorrow may bring.
Let us therefore, live but one day at a time.~
By the way, learning how to orgasm and finding your G-spot comes from experience. I can tell you that the G-spot is towards the front of you, so if you put your hand down by your vagina and put your finger in there, you would curl it so its pointing towards your stomach, it should be right there. (can someone help if i explained that right?).
~Today, any person can fight the battles of one day It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternity's- yesterday and tomorrow, that we break down. It is not the experience of today that drives people mad. It is the remorse of bitterness for something which happened yesterday and the dread of what tomorrow may bring.
Let us therefore, live but one day at a time.~
Are you really aroused? Really wet? Really wanting intercourse? It makes a big difference if you are. Can you orgasm by masterbating?
We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer
If you're not using lube, then use it. Use lots and lots and lots of lube. If you think you're using enough lube, then use twice as much. You can never use too little lube. Not just for you, but also for him! Put it on you, put it on him. Lube, lube, lube!
You can do all sorts of things that don't involve penetration and still have great sex. Penetration is overrated. At least anything involving more than a finger in any case. That's my opinion. In my particular case, anything more than a finger or two hurts like heck. Fortunately, my guy doesn't get anything from penetration and can't cum or orgasm that way. So since neither of us gets anything from it, we don't do it. We both love oral sex, manual stimulation, etc. So if you don't like penetration, find a guy like mine who doesn't mind and then do whatever works for the two of you.
BTW, what works for him and what works for you may be two completely different things. Frequency for him vs. you can also be different. In our case, one time we'll be working on pleasuring me and another time we'll be working on pleasuring him. It's usually once a week for me and three or four times a week for him. I just don't need it as often as he does. We never try to do both at the same time because it just doesn't seem to work for us. Talk often to make sure you're meeting each other's needs. Don't be afraid to talk to each other.
I recently read something in the book, How I Got Into Sex. This is a collection of stories from a variety of people in sex related research and work. A researcher related that they had found that for some women who had trouble with penetration the problem was a full rectum or colon. A change in bowel habits made a big difference. This could be timing. Most people have a bowel movement(s) at about the same time each day. Just have sex after that time of day. If you don't have good regular bowel movements then you need make some diet changes.
You might try an enema or two to clean things out, just to see if that helps.
I suspect a big part of the problem is how relaxed you are and how good your muscle control is. You need to do ab exersizes and strengthen your PCs. Kegels are for the PCs and you can find plenty of other exersizes for your abs. A strong healthy body is always more ready for sex.
We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer
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