_redhot_: Well, masturbating in front of him scares me pretty badly too. But I took your advice and was intimate without being sexual, we gave each other rubdowns. I was a bit tense at first, like usual, but then I did relax. He seemed vaguely impressed that I initiated it too, so thank you for the idea!

caterpillar79: I don't really think so. I'm Catholic but have never been the very religious type. One thing that does come to mind is that I have never seen my parents kiss, ever. But I don't think this would really have anything to do with it...

lizzardb63: Yes, I definitely think this is part of it. I've told him that we would probably not be having this problem now if we waited to have sex in the first place, because I wouldn't be so turned off by the idea of it. Part of me wants to believe that it will get better, but knowing what it's "supposed" to be hasn't been helping me.

Little_Miss_Me: Thank you for sharing your personal experience. Enjoying making him feel good is something I've thought of before, but he doesn't react. Ever. No intake of breath, no changed facial expression, no noise, no nothing. He'll tell me when something feels good... but it's really difficult to enjoy myself if I can't even see that he is. I know he is, but the lack of visual is disappointing. I have talked to him about this, but he just says that he thinks making noise, etc is weird for a guy and just can't do it. So it's not like I haven't tried.

Once again, thank you everyone for your comments and suggestions!