Thread: Married for a year and still can't have painless sex...

Some might gather (based on previous posts) that this question is not about me--and they would be right. A couple recently visited my boyfriend and I. The friendship stems from my boyfriend and her husband. After a view drinks she shared that she and her husband don't have sex very often because it hurts her--every time. (I looked at the other painful sex discussion posted and it doesn't seem to be the same).

I feel bad for her, because this is bothering her quite a bit. She has been to a doctor for this and came away without any health concerns, nor advice. She has also talked to her mother. Both her mother and sister encounter no such experiences with sex. She was a virgin before marriage. The only thing she can think of is that she can't relax.

So how do you help someone relax enough to enjoy themselves after over a year of trying? Tips? Suggestions?

Try deep breaths? Start foreplay off with a full body massage so she is calm? How do you marry someone and not be relaxed and comfortable enough with them to have sex?

I think she is comfortable with him--they've been together for years. But sex is something that they never did before, and now it is probably scary to her since it hurts.

Is he too large, or is she too small? Sometimes peoples parts don't always match up well. If it is relaxing that is the issue then just like Chrissle64 said, work on foreplay a little longer to release all the tension which I'm sure this predicament isn't helping out one bit.

I appreciate the input Mr. I, I too thought about their "parts" and if that might be the issue. I will pass on the deep breaths suggestion. I definitely think the more it doesn't feel good, the less she probably wants to do it.