Thread: why can't i get an orgasm??

I also have this problem. I can easily do it myself, but i don't want a clitoral orgasm. I want an orgasm from him. He gets one from me, why should I get anything less? Everyone keeps telling me to do it myself while he is in me, but that seems rather unfair. Or buy a toy or do it before or after he is done. Or tell him what I want/need. It is difficult to tell him what I want or need when nothing feels like anything and I have toys that feel the same...nothing inside. What I want is someone to tell me how to have an orgasm with him in me without extra hands or toys. I feel like ripping him apart with desire but I end up trying not to cry. I don't want to hurt his feelings, he is the most wonderful person I've ever met. I can't believe how much I love him and I don't want my lack of satisfaction to start making me bitter or worse, apathetic.
If some women can have actual non-clitoral orgasms then it seems there may be a physiological circuitry that is inherent but inhibited by years of mental training or most likely lack of strengthening the synapses (I waited for marriage). Is there a mental exercise I can do that can attach/reattach the neural pathways from my reward centers to the appropriate anatomy?

Are you on the pill? I have the same problem. I never had an orgasm before until I went off the pill for a few months, then I had amazing orgasms. Now im back on the pill, and I cant have an orgasm and I barely get wet. It is a VERY common side effect of the pill. but to me, Id rather sacrifice an orgasm for a little while than get pregnant right now.

I'm in the same boat ladies! I always try and clear my mind of everything that's going on. I very rarely orgasm without having to do it myself. I feel bad because he's trying so hard to make me orgasm, which is the reason why i think it's not happening for me. I think about trying to have an orgasm so much that it doesn't happen. try closing your eyes eyes and try to not think about anything. it's VERY hard to not think about anything though. Also if you listen to music while you're having sex and you're like me, this isn't such a good thing. I listen to the music so much because i tend to get bored.

But I'm also OKAY with not having an orgasm, I love love love pleasing my man! Sex to me is relaxing and yes it would be ultimatly more relaxing if i did orgasm I'm okay with it.

I agree with 1wifee - this is the only way I can orgasm - that, or with him on top and pulling his pubic bone in towards my clitorous by pulling his butt into me.

GOOD LUCK!