Question for the Mid 30's ladies

**Mitchel1870** · 11-13-2010 08:01 PM

My wife contends that no women in her mid to late thirties wants to be completely naked during sex. She will never be completely naked during sex, the best she can do is a shirt opened up exposing her breasts. She also does not like the lights on during sex. We have both gained weight since we meet (we were 17/18 when we first meet). Curious if any other women have issues with being naked with 15+ year partners.

**thiruselvamk** · 11-13-2010 08:14 PM

Why was it OK to do so before mid thirty and why does she think it is OK after mid thirty? Have you asked that (not in bed, while elsewhere). If she is suddenly covering herself up now, but never in the past, have you passed some uncalled for remarks about her tummy , or thighs, (you mentioned gained weight) etc, that is making her conscious. Has that also got to do with not wanting lights during sex?

**mommies3** · 11-13-2010 08:52 PM

Originally Posted by Mitchel1870

My wife contends that no women in her mid to late thirties wants to be completely naked during sex. She will never be completely naked during sex, the best she can do is a shirt opened up exposing her breasts. She also does not like the lights on during sex. We have both gained weight since we meet (we were 17/18 when we first meet). Curious if any other women have issues with being naked with 15+ year partners.

Well i am only 32 but i dont like having sex with the lights on either. I guess i feel like i can just let go with the lights off. However i am overweight but i still get completely naked when having sex. You need to make her feel beautiful, no matter what she weighs. If you have both gained weight then work on it together. Help her in anyway you can to feel good about herself. After 15 yrs. she ought to be very comfortable with you, so someone has done or said something to make her feel uncomfortable. Sit down and talk about it.

**Mitchel1870** · 11-13-2010 09:03 PM

I tell her all of the time I that I love her and find her sexy. I have never said anything that would make her feel otherwise. She has a large scar from a c-section that bothers her and after 15+ years we have both gained weight (I went from 134 to 205 but I am 6ft tall). I am okay with how I look, I think I look pretty good for mid to late thirties. She was adamant that this is how all of her friends feel. I have a hard time believing that all the 'mommies' out there don't get naked and have fun. About the most spontaneous thing I have gotten her to do was to have sex (missionary only) during the day, which took a lot of coaxing to do.

**Hopeless Dork** · 11-13-2010 10:39 PM

Well I am in my early 30's and I love lights on sex, but I don't like being completely naked. I am fit and in the best shape of my life but I have body flaws that make me very insecure. My stomach is tight but I have some stretch marks on it... I love my boyfriend to TOUCH my tummy, and I will show it off in soft lighting... but lights fully on I like to hide it... either by hiking up my skirt when I am on him.. or by pulling my shirt down exposing my breasts but keeping it hanging from my waist to cover my stomach.

The big thing you have to think about is if a woman is feeling insecure about something on her body, its hard to relax and enjoy the sex because you are too pre-occupied with worrying about... oh gosh does he see those stretch marks? Women , most women... love to feel beautiful during sex, it turns me on to think my man see's me as awesomely as possible... and my best attributes front and center while all my flaws are out of sight.

I am a confident sex kitten in the bed that does everything to drive him over the edge and back, as longggggggg as I am feeling secure with how I look. I think if he needed me to be front and center naked with the lights off I would be so having an anxiety attack ... and not enjoying the sex.

Now I will get naked if we are in the dark or under covers, lol but we like lights on sex a lot and for that I like to be looking/feeling my sexiest which means, scantily clad rather than fully nude.

I am pretty sure my stretch marks would not detract him from the rest of my body or even the tummy that they are on ( i have a nice one outside of the stupid marks), but me, personally , me, I don't feel sexy showing those off in the light.

I think that you should understand that about her. I do envy those women that will get bucket naked with a lot of body flaws and feel good and sexy and their man gets to enjoy an all access pass to their natural beauty... but I am not one of those women and it doesn't sound like your wife is either.

For me, I know my boyfriend does or use to look up pictures of flawless porn models with airbrushed perfect skin and to me I will never feel as beautiful as those women and I want the image in his mind of me to be the best version of myself.. and not raggedy in comparison to those perfect robot girls.

**WildChild** · 11-13-2010 10:54 PM

Well I'mnot in my 30s, I'm over 50 but I do remember my 30s. I had two children in my 30s and had no problem with being naked or having lights on and I still don't.

**rcoreyus** · 11-13-2010 11:01 PM

You guys - if only you knew how young "30s" was.

**Colorado** · 11-13-2010 11:39 PM

Originally Posted by Mitchel1870

She was adamant that this is how all of her friends feel.

And that my friend may be the issue... If all of her friends are insecure and telling her that's normal, and because of this she feels if she doesnt remain clothed, she is somehow not normal - What a shame.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, We don't care if our ladies have a scar, we dont care if our ladies have stretch marks, and we certainly dont care what their friends think is or is not normal. What we care about is that they are having a good time; but they should be able to do that with the lights on, nekkid, or any way they like without somehow rating themselves. If you and she have the the trust and caring for one another, why have any hangups and detract from what is most desired?

Originally Posted by Hopeless Dork

For me, I know my boyfriend does or use to look up pictures of flawless porn models with airbrushed perfect skin and to me I will never feel as beautiful as those women and I want the image in his mind of me to be the best version of myself.. and not raggedy in comparison to those perfect robot girls.

...and why would you ever want to look like one of those models? Be happy with yourself - don't you think he knows that they are as FALSE as false gets? Trust me - we guys know that it is what it is - it's not real - the sex portrayed in those flicks, nor the models themselves. Its a visual stimulant and nothing more, and personally, I'll take my wife, flaws, stretch marks, etc, and all over one of those models any day of the week!

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 11-14-2010 02:50 AM

Hopeless you continue to break my heart I've seen you and I know your one of the most sexiest women I have ever,ever,ever seen and I was an ex model so you need a kick up the butt and I am sorry if I dobbed that I've seen your picture but it's warranted

You said it "air brushed"...

OP, 47 and now a half... read also what WC stated...

Do you know the old saying ? "Your only as good as the woman you feel?" Same, we are only as sexy as the man makes us feel... and in that, once you've been bitten you will always feel sexy...

I sleep naked, I have sex in the morning, I have had sex with the light on in the bathroom over the basin and I have to tell you, I am not ashamed of me, or have any inhibitions, I have boundries very few but I do and mostly it's respect...

Bottom line, care weight.. You need to step up and make her feel so beautiful, sexy and alive that she looks in that mirror and knows she's beautiful TO YOU, because in that, she will never worry about her weight, the lights or anything else.

That's my opinion...

**dazzlemissy** · 11-14-2010 03:03 AM

Nope, I am pretty comfy with my partner of 14 years

I won't say that we still have great bodies but the comfort level and intimacy has definitely gone up over the years. Probably you can get your wife to talk to her girlfriends or chat with people online to find out why other women can be comfy being naked with their partners with passing years.