Thread: painful sex. please, please help!

Hi I think the points every one is making on relaxing is the best thing to do. Maybe u cnt completely relax ur muscles coz all that's on ur mind is the pain that u expecting to come. Maybe if you take charge and tell him what to do where to touch and how to touch and at what speed. With me and my boyfriend we take turns at taking charge. I also can have very painful sex but I realised little things that are nice and I concentrated on those nice things. Also I went to a meating once and a lovely lovely excercise u can try (with lube) is have foreplay in the beginning (either u telling him what to do or he's telling u what he's doing) and only stop just before u cum then move to doggy style and he must go shallow for 5 times (slowly) (u must be stimulating urself at the same time) and then go a LITTLE BIT deeper for 5 times (only go deeper when u feel like u wana cum) and do that till he's right inside then when he's fully in tell him to swing it around inside (staying deep) and then slowly move in and out while swinging and once u are ready to come and he's ready to cum (must both be ready) then tell him to go for it and finnish off. U'll only start noticing a difference in about 3 weeks if done everyday for the first week and a half then every second day. Did u ask the Dr if mayb u have a small opening? I know some girls and Dr's look past it.

pixied - i've tried doggy style before (with a previous boyfriend it was amazing) but unfortunately with this boyfriend, he's... well, too big! in a doggy style position the very back of the opening to my vagina will tear and while that's only slightly irritating during sex, it's ridiculously irritating and painful after. it'll sting, i'll bleed everywhere, and the enjoyment of having sex that way is almost not worth it. i know i need to relax and i try so hard, but that only seems to make it worse.

the only suggestion (other than switching up lube) that could work if it's just me and not a medical problem, would be experimenting with different sizes of dildos. fingers don't help at all - because being fingered does NOT hurt, even with two fingers. i hardly notice one finger being put in at all, and it certainly doesn't cause ANY kind of pain. but even after extensive foreplay including two fingers, to go from that to his penis still is so painful, as it has been for everyone.

at least since i'm having some menstrual cycle problems, we have a bit of a break from sex so maybe we can talk about some different strategies.

I'm sorry to hear u going through so much trouble. U can also do this style I'm missionary, just means ur nf is gonna have to work harder. Have u tried going for sexual massages? Cnt remember the xact term for that type of massaging. Its very popular I hear. Maybe ur vag up to ur cervix cnt stretch wich will cause the tearing. The xcercises I wrote dnt have to be in any specific style and doesn't need to end up with full penetration if it gets to painful. Just doing the stretching xcercises will help to stretch the skin inside. It will take a longer time if ur skin stretchiness is the prob. But let me knw if u try that and how it goes, just take it slowly coz u stretching skin. Hope it goes well!