Thread: please help):

so i tried to have sex with a boyfriend i wasnt really into and he could not get it in.. i have always worn tampons without a problem but i dont know why i couldnt have sex! recently i have a new boyfriend i'm almost positive i want to spend the rest of my life with him. i am so comfortable with him and we use foreplay alot and its great. i want to have sex with him but i dont want it to not work because i would feel horrible! whats wrong with me?

If you are hesitating or if you are nervous, it can cause you to tense up. Maybe have him pleasure you orally or manually first, it can help you relax. Are you getting wet enough?

i dont know if im getting wet enough, i get aroused easily and i want him to finger me and stuff.. is that the same??

Actually, you just answered your own question. "I really wasn't into". You need to be into it to be properly aroused. If you are tense instead of relaxed, it makes arousal more difficult and penetration more difficult. If you are not really ready, then wait until you are. If you are really ready, then relax, indulge in lots of fun foreplay, and use a personal lubricant (and a condom!). You can make that part of the fun by lubing him up as well as yourself. Use your (or his) fingers to dialate yourself a bit. When it comes time for the grand event, force your body to relax. If your body is tense like you are anticipating a shot in the arm, penetration is likely to be difficult, if not painful.

Write back on how your experience goes and remember: 1st time sex is usually memorable, but not usually great. The "great" will come with time & practice.

if you haven't lost your virginity, the changes are there's going to be some resistance. i'd say take care to use some lubrication even if you are aroused/wet enough just to try and make the process a little easier. : )

doesnt it get awkward if i just pull out a thing of lube? haha

lol well if you are really in love with each other, and you talk to him about it (communication is key!) then it wont be. i'm sure since it will be your first time he'll be understanding : )

haha oh my gosh thankyou(: i will let him not whatsup and i hope it works!

Originally Posted by shelbyy

doesnt it get awkward if i just pull out a thing of lube? haha

Not at all.
Don't you think he'd appreciate the fact you had thought about this in advance and wanted to do it, and do it right?
I'd think he'd take it as a compliment!

Originally Posted by shelbyy

doesnt it get awkward if i just pull out a thing of lube? haha

Haha, yeah... it could feel a little awkward approaching the lube situation the first time... but hun, the more you open up about sex and all the things that go with it.. the easier of a time you have talking about it with the guy you love -- the better the sex gets. If you're shy with words, send an email or text and just tell him you picked up a bottle of lubrication to help get it in etc... he'll probably be excited about it.

It was embarassing for me the first time I brought it up, and now we have lube in almost every room of the house lol. But we use it for all sorts of thinggs And truth is we haven't really needed it very often but its fun playing with it alternatively and when if I am sore or something (he's pretty endowed) its right there nearby if I wanted to use it.

I use to get so embarassed talking about sex outloud so a lot of our sex talk was said in text/email etc.. but once we got comfortable talking about it like that we started getting more comfortable talking about things face to face.

Sure, this is just a bottle of lube... but its openining up the door to intimate dialogue which will serve you SO well in the long run when you are able to verbalize what you need to feel good, etc.