Having sex after 2 years without it.....

**Magnetism** · 11-26-2010 10:03 AM

I really like the person I'm dating, but the first time we got intimate......I bled and it hurt. I'm not a virgin, but I haven't had intercourse in 2 1/2 years. Is that the reason?

We did foreplay, but I was also sort of in a rush to get it over with. I was nervous too while he was entering me, but it's like I couldn't shake off the feeling. My doctor said there's nothing physically wrong with me. With toys, I haven't had any pain. Then again, my boyfriend is quite significantly bigger than the toys I have.=/

He also used magnum condoms. Does anyone feel those dry you out?

Luckily, the person I'm dating said "It's okay. You're just stressed. We can always try next time." I just hope our future sex sessions won't be like that again!

**jns** · 11-26-2010 10:31 AM

After not having sex for a while, it is possible that you need some stretching out before sex will be comfortable again. Maybe 5 to 10 sessions over say 5 days may work. Use lubricant and stop if things hurt too much. He may have to limit his penetration so as to not hurt you, meaning he may not have enough sensation to climax. In that case, one of you can use masturbation on him.

**Magnetism** · 11-26-2010 11:03 AM

Thanks jns. I just realized that I keep trying to make myself "get it right'. I'm so anxious that to hope that it doesn't hurt, but having anxiety doesn't help.

He did say that he will be more gentle next time.

**Seeker_Advice** · 11-26-2010 11:13 AM

Relax........... Relax............ Relax............... You haven't forgotten how to ride a bike have you? I'm sure you haven't forgotten how to be part of wonderful intimacy either. Just take it slow, spend more time on foreplay, perhaps start with his fingers being inserted, then a toy, then him. You control the pace and how it proceeds.
Any man worth his weight will be patient, kind and not in any hurry. So don't you be in a hurry either.

Enjoy (re-exploring) yourself and allowing your partner to do the same!

**WildChild** · 11-26-2010 11:53 AM

Try some non latex condoms. I'm latex sensitive and a latex condom can dry me out in about 2 seconds. No kidding, it's like magic - wet horny WildChild + latex *poof* totally dry, like the desert.

**evaone** · 11-29-2010 10:58 PM

in my opinion i think yes. but the if you constantly do it you will feel the feeling of intimacy and begun enjoying it.luckily you have a partner who is understandable.

**Texasred** · 11-30-2010 11:21 PM

Originally Posted by PaneraBread

He also used magnum condoms. Does anyone feel those dry you out?

Magnums ("magna?") are no different than other latex condoms in terms of the material they're made of, but if you think it's the latex bothering you, you might try a type called "Fourex" They also seem to be sized a little larger than standard condoms.
- Tr

**Magnetism** · 12-09-2010 09:27 PM

We did it again with the same latex condoms, and it felt fine! I felt him touching my g-spot. As embarrassing as this is to admit, this is probably the first time I've enjoyed vaginal intercourse and didn't feel any pain.

My last ex was abusive and I wasn't into him. Hence, it was very painful. He put me down for "sucking at sex" and "not being able to take it in". I remember trying to improve sex between us, but it just kept hurting. It was as if my body was saying "No, get out of me"..

It's amazing how sexual pain and pleasure can be pyschological/mental.

**SexyOliva** · 12-07-2011 03:58 PM

Nice to read you got over the pain ... the pain comes mostly from the brain .. but your ex seems to me like he was not the guy for you and you felt it - so that's the other reason that your body was putting him away ... not only because of the pain but also for the fact that you knew that this guy isn't for you ... I had similar experience - in fact I think all girls had some experiences like this ...
good for you with the new guy