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Thread: Loss of sex drive and only 20. I just don't know what happened to me.

  1. 11-29-2010 06:34 PM #1
    GutterGypsy
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    Question Loss of sex drive and only 20. I just don't know what happened to me.

    So, I'm only 20 years old and i feel as if my sexual drive has completely caved in. As of only a little over a year ago i was at the top of my sex drive. I always had so much energy for sex and to be as wild as i can and last for hours, as i continue to brain storm kinky new ideas.

    After this my Boyfriend died. After that i was put on medications that had killed my sex drive. I had no thoughts of sex and and i had no masturbated in four months. several months later my sex drive started to come back and i started being sexual again. I could feel the drive. Very slightly . But it wasn't the same.

    It has been over a year now since my boyfriend died and I've been off the medication and i still my sex drive is no better. I'm not the sexual and kinky animal i use to be. It depresses me. It makes me feel dull. I don't feel like myself. I don't feel like such a bad anymore. And i feel i am too young to be feeling this.

    I have found some one i want to be serious with after my tragedy. But my drive is that where it was before. When sex was breakfast, lunch and dinner, Now its when I'm "in the mood" once a week. And i want to be able to please my new man.

    What could This be? Could it be a mental block referring to my dead boyfriend? Permanent damage to my sex drive because of the medication? Low testosterone? Of course eating better and exercise never hurt anyone.
    Last edited by GutterGypsy; 11-29-2010 at 06:38 PM.
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  2. 11-29-2010 06:40 PM #2
    LanaBear
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    I think it is a mental block. I'm so sorry for your loss, that is very very unfortunate.

    But you think about it and it does make sense. You had a man you loved, someone with whom you were able to enjoy intimacy, sex and pleasure with. It was fun and inventive and you were willing to try things together because you loved each other. He died, so it makes sense that a piece of you died with him, a piece that was enjoyed with him, something that the two of you enjoyed together.

    Can you get it back? I definitely think so, but I think it will take some time and patience, plus a very patient man who totally understands you and your loss.

    Will it ever be like it was? Probably not, it will be different, but it may possibly be better. You need to allow yourself to feel again, to be loved again. Remember the good times with your boyfriend, but allow yourself to experience something different with a new man. But again, this guy, need to be able to work with you and help you get there again.
    Friendship Prayer
    May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.
    Amen

    Whoever said anything was possible obviously never tried slamming a revolving door.


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  3. 11-29-2010 06:46 PM #3
    GutterGypsy
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    Thank you so much. I was not expecting such a well thought out answer any time soon. I really appreciate your advice and you taking the time to read and respond. I'll do my best to put this advice into practice. Taking good advice is the best way for me to move on.
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  4. 11-29-2010 07:57 PM #4
    LanaBear
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    You're welcome!

    You are more than welcome to stick around, this forum is absolutely wonderful in giving support. There are a lot of listening ears here and some brilliant advice to be given.

    Be patient with yourself and allow yourself to heal and move on.
    Friendship Prayer
    May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.
    Amen

    Whoever said anything was possible obviously never tried slamming a revolving door.


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  5. 12-01-2010 03:45 AM #5
    zhs
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    GutterGypsy, my heart goes to you.
    *Removed outbound link*

    The link above explains the psychosocial theory of humans at different stages of life. You mesh into the fourth and sixth stages. Have a look at it and see what could be pertinent to you.

    Secondly, the effect of the loss of your bf, had far reaching effects on you. You may notice that it is not only sexual matters that you remember him. You may discover too that, when you think of him, future plans come to view. Marriage, family, profession etc.

    You are still grieving, which puts you down in all ways. Hence the medications, which in their own rights, cause lowered sex drive. What is great is the fact that you are thinking sex again, and all that comes with it. There are men out there willing to share and enjoy life with you. You may still be grieving and this will affect all aspects of your life, sex inclusive. I suggest you seek a counselor in such matters who shall assist you on your journey of personal healing and the resumption of a full life complete with a return of great sex and glorious orgasms!

    Find one.
    Last edited by LanaBear; 12-01-2010 at 11:35 AM. Reason: Removed outbound link
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  6. 12-01-2010 04:57 PM #6
    zhs
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    Okay. Nice meeting you. Sorry though. Goodbye and God bless you.
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