Anal taboo, boo hoo!

**funlovingmale** · 11-30-2010 04:33 PM

Well that is not entirely accurate. We 'tried' it fairly early in our relationship before we were married (about 3 years ago.) We clearly got it wrong because since then the subject has become taboo for her. We had had a bit to drink, were on holiday, and she was feeling a bit more adventurous no doubt than of late. We had lube and she was on top but it didn't last long and she didn't penetrate me much past the head before stopping so I only vaguely remember the sensation. I remember it being very tight and and being highly aroused by how deliciously naughty we were being. It was a mere taste and I have remained intensely curious ever since and eager to experience more! Ladies, do you have any idea what it is like to have two possible options side by side and never be allowed to take the forbidden path! She thinks I have tried being sneaky with exclamations like 'nice try' when I've accidently slipped. Anyway, I would love to try again, but don't quite know how to broach the subject, especially since my tail is between my legs after the rebuttal I got with the sex toy gift- see my thread titled 'Sex toy for wife/us.' Granted, I understand that this is not everyone's cup of tea and completely respect that, but anyone got any suggestions?

**WildChild** · 11-30-2010 04:42 PM

You might start with a book. Tristan Taormino has written The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex, there is one for women and one for men. You might get a copy of each and start with some education?

**LanaBear** · 11-30-2010 05:09 PM

Ah yes... This happened to us as well. Tried early on before really knowing anything about it or how to make it more comfortable. It happened once or twice, then I was firmly on the 'no behind action wagon' for many many years. Tried it again about 3 years ago, I did the initiating of it this time and said I wanted to try again. We did it right that time and it was much much MUCH better. I'm now a fan and can have some great orgasms from it.

Start with the reading WC suggested. Don't push her for it, but maybe try to get her curious about it by starting to read about how to lovingly do it correctly.

**Seeker_Advice** · 11-30-2010 05:57 PM

Hmmm! The more I keep reading, the more I keep learning...

The woman I am nuts about has had "no more to her back door" for some time now.

Maybe....

**SSDS** · 11-30-2010 06:50 PM

It has to be something your wife is willing AND wanting to do. If not, it can be terribly painful--no matter how much lube

Also, while it is not something that we do on a regular basis, there are times that just feel way better and others that don't. I am very conscious of this knowing that it might not work at that moment, but on another occasion it could be great. Hope that makes some sense. I've had a bit of wine.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 11-30-2010 06:58 PM

For me, it always starts out being very painful. I have to be in a position where I can literally relax my entire body (typically on my side) so that he can get started. Once he's in (and I can only handle a little past the head) then it's fine as long as he's very gentle. If he'd bite the back of my neck during, and be gentle thrusting ever so lightly.......I could sometimes get off. Alot of women just think, "why have to go to all that trouble and all that pain just so he can feel some "different" pleasure or fulfill some fantasy". Ya know?

My experiences were initiated by me...because I wanted to try it. I've never had a guy ask for it or pressure me in any way for it. If I did....I'd say as I've said before, what's good for the goose is good for the gander, right? I'd insist he experience anal penetration as well so that he could even begin to identify with the pain a woman goes through to do that for her man. Maybe you could consider letting her penetrate you with a toy to sort of open the door to the whole experience.

**Rediscovered** · 11-30-2010 07:53 PM

Anal is something that I have to be ready and prepared for because I like to do a few warm water douches beforehand--so if it happens, it's because I've planned for it.

No springing it on me unexpectedly, lol!

**LilahX** · 12-07-2010 05:59 AM

Your first expedition was certainly in the right diection - loads of lube and girl on top. Definitely the way to go if you try again, but maybe start with some warming up with your fingers or tongue. The one mistake was to have booze involved. Never a good idea as a clear head is needed.

Be open with her about wanting to try agaiin and let her know there'll be discussion first and no pressure and that the discussion will NOT be you merely trying to pressure her but wanting to know her thoughs and feelings about it all. If she is agaiinst it it'slikely to be either b/c she fears it will be painful, or she just thinks it's 'wrong'.

The first can be overcome by being slow and patient and prepared (but there really is no avoiding it being somewhat uncomfortable the first few times - but the eventual pleasure is worth it). The second may or may not be able to be ovecome if it's an ingrained belief.

Goodluck