can not have an orgasm at all

**scuba33** · 12-01-2010 03:33 PM

I am 22 yrs of age and can not orgasm. I have been sexually active for over 8 years now. I've tried all sorts of things to orgasm including but not limited to using toys, different positions with my partners, relaxing and concentrating on what im feeling, clitoral stimulation, masturbation etc. I have a yearly physical and have not brought this up to my gyno, hoping it would be my last resort. This forum is my second to last resort. I read some women eventually orgasm with age and experience. Well i have the experience maybe im not old enough yet? Please help!

**stressed** · 12-02-2010 05:42 AM

Have you tried to apply pressure on your clitoris with your legs crossed while watching something arousing? Rubbing against a pillow while fantasizing? With your underwear on? It may not be about toys and positions at all, many women cannot orgasm by intercourse, but there must be something that can make you reach one by yourself.

You were quite young when you had your first sexual encounter, was it enjoyable and with a person you trusted? Did you want to do it or were you pressured into it? Do you like sex?

**ilovhr** · 12-05-2010 08:58 PM

Can you find the point in your body when touched you start feeling to laugh ? You should not focus to much to orgasm rather to find out the touch points for physical touch, foreplay and intercouse that give you immense pleasure and during sex try to get to that point again and again , you should reach orgasm quickly. Also make sure that you don't stress on sex, you may want to take a break for a week or so before trying to explore your touch points.

**Little_Man_in_the_Boat** · 12-06-2010 09:40 AM

It's little wonder women are not able to achieve orgasm.

You need a guy that really wants you to achieve it.

Bare in mind its not easy, everybody wants the quick fix, but like anything nothing comes easy.

I can't emphasize enought that you need affective stimulation, that means effective foreplay, no put rubbing for ever when your just not enjoying it.

I have always tried so hard to tell people dont look at porn, porn is a money making machine it has nothing to do with REAL orgasm.

i tried to post exactly what orgasm is like and it got knocked back.

It seems that most do not want the truth to be known.

To achieve orgasm the guy has to be emotionally intelligent and have the right kind of mindset.

Avoid penetration, thats the last thing you do. But its what the guy wants.

Foreplay with the guys hands for hours on end thats what did it for my partner and me.

The real genuine orgasm takes hours to achieve it has something to do with a lot of foreplay with ones hands, I'm really gentle so thats probably why i achieved it.

Dont have the lights on women are generally not that comfortable with it.

Orgasm is building the sexual frustraction up until you orgasm, so its a gradual slow build up to push you over the edge.

The guy has to know the difference between rubbing and caressing, rubbing is not what you should be doing.

A mans hands have to glide over the womens skin and cause "goosebumps" its this that eventually gets the women aroused enough to cause orgasm.

So a guy must start off caressing a womens body everywhere except the genitals, and or the breasts.

Avoid those areas initially, keep the caressing going until his arms are aching, then change over and use your other arm, keep doing that for extended periods of time ...

Use circular motions and gliding motions all over your body up and down, around and around.

Turn over ...

Again the same ...

Constant caressing keep it up ...

the legs ...

the arms ...

the abdomen ...

Now pay attention to your neck which is very sensitive do the same there

Make sure your hair is really clean ...

get him to run his fingers through your hair digging his finger nails into your scalp but not so that it hurts this has to be done ever so gently only just so that it feels pleasurable.

The aim is to get the sex flushes on your body the goose bumps means its working.

Do not pull the hair because as you know that is painful.

I cant emphasize this enough being really gentle and slow and a gliding your hands over the body.

The he can glide his fingers over your buttocks and very gently between your legs

Glide his hands over your pubic mound but make sure he doesnt stay there just keep those hands moving and circling your entire body gently caressing the backs of your legs

The front of your legs ...

the sides of your legs

your feet but dont let him tickle you thats will only make you laugh

now the back ....

some times let him nibble the backs of your arms make sure again its not painful or uncomfortable

keep moving again circling around and around relentlessly ...

over the breasts and around the breasts but dont stay there to long ...

Makes sure hes looking for those "goose bumps"

After a few hours you'll start to get wet thats just the beginning of it

Keep doinng the caressing but gradually starting to hone in on the erogenous zones a little

Now the important thing to remember is you have to be ready you dont allow him to enter you until you reach the onset of orgasm

You'll know when your reading...

You should be dripping with sweat and your heart will be pounding like a little drum in your chest.

When i say sweat i dont mean from physical exertion, I mean the body pumps out the sweat when your at the onset of orgasm, you'll be saturated from head to foot like you just hoped out of a sauna.

So just remember to hold on and not freak out and tell your partner the same because when he enters you and your keegle muscles start to sqeeze around his penis he's going to be a little shocked but just let him know to relax and go with it.

When you Orgasm the vaginal walls spasmodically and rythmically contract around his penis and that is going to send him through the roof I know i felt it its ** lost for words ***
Its a bit like the "Big Dipper" you'll get to the crest of the hill and start the really fast catapult down ... just hold on and enjoy the ride

At this stage your partner will probably have what is called lovers balls, dont worry that will soon be fixed with penetration.

**WildChild** · 12-06-2010 09:56 AM

Orgasm can be achieved in a few minutes or instantly, I know, I do it. I don't know where Little Man gets all this but it may be true of some women. I don't think it has to be true for any. Usually it is literally all in your head.
Start with some self education?
How about, The Orgasm Loop?

**ItsASecret** · 12-06-2010 10:06 AM

A mans hands have to glide over the womens skin and cause "goosebumps" its this that eventually gets the women aroused enough to cause orgasm.

Make sure the woman likes this. As a woman my guy has done this for me numerous time, there is no orgasm from touching my arm or feet. There are some women, like myself, who not only get bored (too much time sometimes) with barely touching and often quite ticklish after awhile but the goosebumps are actually an uncomfortable feeling. Maybe more of a gentle touch to reach the 'tingles' but not the type of pressure as used in a massage type thing. I know what you mean though with being gentle about everything, it is definitely a necessary thing.

get him to run his fingers through your hair digging his finger nails into your scalp but not so that it hurts this has to be done ever so gently only just so that it feels pleasurable.

I can say from experience this works to get those needed tingles. No orgasm lol but the tingles come in nice waves.

**scuba33** · 12-06-2010 08:57 PM

Yes i have watched pllenty of porn and yes it is arousing but can not even get close to an orgasm. My first experience I was inebriated and hardly remeber it. I absolutly love sex though.

**scuba33** · 12-06-2010 09:08 PM

I was raped 3 different times in my past, although over it, maybe it could be affecting me being able to reach orgasm?

**WildChild** · 12-06-2010 10:28 PM

Originally Posted by scuba33

I was raped 3 different times in my past, although over it, maybe it could be affecting me being able to reach orgasm?

That coudl certainly have caused to put your emotional guard up even though you may not feel that it is.

**LilahX** · 12-07-2010 04:40 AM

Age has nothing to do with it. Neither does experience. I had my first orgasm when I was 12 or 13. Altho I'm not an expert I'd say you have a psychological barrier, one which you may not even be conscious of. I'd explore getting some professional help, but do lots of research and don't settle for less than someone you feel totally comfortable with and get a good vibe from (no pun intended!!)