Thread: im a starfish

You should never stop loving yourself. As long as mentally you are able to enjoy yourself, masturbate yourself and feel the pleasure there is no problem with you. Once you meet right person and get connected well to him it will be alright. Don't stress yourself with thoughts rather start exploring your body and it's response. Would be good to find your touch points.

You've given up on yourself, can you expect any different?

As said above, masturbate and find out how its going to feel. If it doesn't feel great straight away don't give up hope it'll happen. Self penetration is too difficult for me (little arms) so it's simply clitoral play for me...in which case LUBE LUBE LUBE will help a of a lot.

Does anything turn you on? Sex scenes in a movie? Erotic stories? Literotica is a great website for erotic stories. Lovehoney is also a good website for toys and play things. This is your body for the rest of your life so take the time to get to know it

Moaning and orgasms etc come naturally when you enjoy sex. You don't sound like you enjoy it so it wont come naturally. Loosen up I had no sex drive until I loosened up and knew how to enjoy myself without worrying my butt off!

Porn stars might be ok to watch but I doubt many people long to get in bed with an over-experienced screaming banshee.

Make it clear as soon as things heat up (not as soon as you've met someone) that you're in-experienced and you need to be shown and taught...innocence is a huuuuuge plus for a LOT of people. It also takes the pressure off of them too. Bare in mind the other person probably has a lot of concerns and worries about themselves too.

If someone is willing to leave you for your inexperience then I ask WHY are you getting into bed with them to begin with?

The longer you're uptight the longer it'll take for sex to be great.

As for the moaning thing...it's not necessarily some huge erotic noise (not for me anyway) its more along the lines of...the noise I make when I enjoy a mouthful of chocolate fudge cake! Don't force it either...Heavy breathing is a good way to indicate that your enjoying something. Or gasping.

If your on the bottom during sex don't just lay there like a corpse. Hold the back of his head or his hair and pull him in for some neck nibbling and kissing...stroke your hands down his back or run your nails gently down his back, hold his butt cheeks, wrap your legs around him, run your nails through is hair (That one works a treat for my bf), play with your boobs if your not shy about it, hands above your head clinging on for dear life, lifting your hips up to meet his thrusts. Just be responsive and dont sweat it. You're having sex Now's not the time to be reserved or shy.

If your on top don't expect to be bouncing about at full speed ahead. There are a lot of threads here about women worrying about being on top so have a look through those I've replied to a number and this is what works for me. Simply knees either side, typical straddle...and I just rock and lift. As I slide/push backwards I lift my bum up slightly then as I'm moving forwards again I sit back down and repeat.

Imagine it like...You've got a bit of chalk between your bum cheeks and your drawing a 'C' shape but starting at the bottom of the 'C' going upwards if that makes sense?


Hope this helped a bit?

Shweed x

Before you worry about impressing a guy in the bed... first learn how to be sexual... for yourself. Discover what turns you on MENTALLY... do you ever have sexy thoughts? Do you ever feel any sexual feelings when you read a book with a sex scene or see a movie with a sex scene? Have you tried fantasizing about things you think are exciting? Have you masturbated? Tried exploring your own body to discover what feels good? Found something that buzzes and using that to stimulate you (i.e a sex toy?)

I think once you learn your own body and what feels good to it, once you can get yourself mentally aroused to the point you want to feel stimulation down stairs, and then learn how to touch yourself so that YOU feel good... you will naturally be a better lover, because you will be 'going for yours' during the act which = enthusiasm, which = a good experience for your partner.

You don't need to 'learn' how to moan, thats something that some women do, some don't... just like some people go mmm mm mmm after eating a bite of desert and some simply swallow it and move on... its just an expression of pleasure , some make sounds some don't... just let your body dictate your reactions. If you feel like a dead fish its because you aren't grinding against him.. if it doesn't feel good to you, if you don't know what the effort is worth, why would you grind against him? So the first thing you should do is try to discover orgasm for yourself that way you will have a drive to be more of an active partner.

Do little things to feel sexy or sensual throughout your day, or at least one thing a day... be it a long hot bath, wearing a pair of sexy panties, thinking a naughty thought...

Companionship and love are so much more than sex, but denying yourself the pleasures your body has the power to unlock without giving it a try I think is selling yourself short.

i don't think anybody was "Taught" to have sex, at least i wasn't, don't give up.. The moaning and all will just come as long as you let yourself go during sex, don't be inhibited by sex, enjoy it..

While you can do a lot to learn about sex, all that knowledge won't turn you into a moaning, writhing sex godess. That can only come from within, from actually feeling the things (both physical and emotional) that make responses like that natural.

You can start that journey on your own by learning about your body, how it responds, what turns you on (physically and mentally). Becomiing comfortable with 'you' and your sexuality is the first, important step. Not only do guys love a sexually confident woman, but she is the one who will get the most out of all her experiences. You doln't have to know all the tricks to 'be good'. Be enthusiastic and uninhibited and whoever you're with will think yr great. Be honest abouyt your lack of experience, but if they know yr willikng to learn about men I'm sure you'llhave willing teachers. Don't be afraid to ask what they like - it's win/win - you learn and they get what they want. Don't be afraid to also speak up about what you're enjoying, or not.

Great sex, and being good at sex, takes time and experience - you have a lot of good times in front of you.

Yeah, it's not something that can be taught. You have to be comfortable with yourself. Don't hate yourself, I've been dealing with that for a while and never thought i'd find love. I'm still sometimes afraid. Bottom line, though is that you have to see what makes you feel aroused, and go with that. practice feeling that way and focus on how it makes you feel. If you really are worried you can talk to a doctor or someone. but make sure you are comfortable and feel very passionate about who you are with. Embrace them, use forplay, make sure you are happy with them first. Sex for me was not something to jump into, and i wasn't ashamed. If you find that someone, then think of sex as a way of being so very close to them, and it can be likea bonding experience. Don't worry and don't give up. Besides, you're still young! It's really okay, and focus on other things before sex, but again, be aware of makes you feel a certain way and try a few things if you want. Hope this helps

I don't really masturbate when I do I don't like it, the thought of sex disgusts me and I never really enjoyed it, I don't have any sexual fantasies. I was raped at a young age and the guy that left me for inexpierence about a year ago cheated on me for that reason and didn't believe me when i told him I was raped and then gave me chlamydia.

Your all right I need to be comfortable with myself but Im not sure exactly how to do that and how to make masturbating feel good before I date again. I definitely need to tell the next guy my history as it will show and I know some of you say sex can't be taught but it can and it does. You wouldnt jump into a race car without lessons right? its the same with sex.

I know the reasons why my last relationships failed is due to inexperience and they were jerks to leave me due to that reason but im also to blame because when it happened I was comfortable with myself and I didn't try.