Thread: Husband Doesnt Want Sex

So sorry that hasn't worked. Keep trying is all I can say. The military thing might be part of it. Perhaps he would agree to help you. It took me a long while to understand that women actually like sex too. I really did not understand that until I was a grown man. Guess I'd been hanging around with the wrong crowd....

Originally Posted by mommies3

I thought i was the only one having that problem. My husband could go a year without i think. He never initiates sex with me, he just sits back and huffs and puffs everytime i make the suggestion. I am right there with you on it hurting the feelings. I dont have to have it all the time but i sure dont want my feelings hurt when i do want it. My husband takes blood pressure pilss and an allergy pill everyday, i dont know if that has anything to do with it or not.
I hope someone on here can give some advice because i havent figured out anything. This has been going on about a year with my hubby. Actually ever since we started college, but he isnt too stressed about that because i do all his work for him. I hope your situation gets better and if have any improvements please let me know.

Google Bloodpressure Medication Libido. This could be a big issue in causing your problems. There are other ways to get lower blood pressure- Garlic - Health supplements- regular excerise - Massage. Try giving him a light massage every day.

Originally Posted by oxy-moron

Google Bloodpressure Medication Libido. This could be a big issue in causing your problems. There are other ways to get lower blood pressure- Garlic - Health supplements- regular excerise - Massage. Try giving him a light massage every day.

Thank you i will look it up. The massage could be a pretty good thing to try.

If he is looking at porn, then maybe he is taking matters into his own hands.

Obviously, men are very visual creatures and most that view porn are doing so to fill the visual void. Have you tried shaving like the women in the porn he watches? Can you comfortably walk around the house naked? That would easily get most men in the mood quickly. It could be depression. Has he lost interest in any other normally enjoyable activities? Does he dread going to work? Is he having trouble sleeping? Have his grooming habits changed? Does he seem to have low self-esteem?

You said he is 19, which means he grew up in the age of the Internet, and as such may have been viewing online porn for 5 years or more. Thus, it is possible that his perception of sex has been formed by what he sees online more than from "real-world" experience. There is plenty of porn that portrays a healthy view of sex, but there is also plenty that portrays a view of degrading women. He may have feelings of guilt if he has been viewing the later. There is also the potential for low self-esteem. Let's face it, the guys and gals in much of the online porn are not average.

Anyway, communication is key so talk with him, ask how he feels, and listen more than talk.

Dont let it get you down, mayce try dressing up in a sexy way to make him wan't it, if he like porn maybe take interest in it as well that could get him going hope this helps

Originally Posted by MrsSammons

My husband never acts like he wants sex or never comes on to me... He complains that I want sex to much but I seriously doubt wanting sex once or twice a week is to much...

He's 19, and military.. So, he's always been under some stress at work.. And he's not an affectionate person to much, he never has been.. But the sex thing.. This is new. I dont know if he masterbates alot or not, he doesn't tell me but I have found porn on his computer..

I've tried everything I can to make it interesting. I've read books, tried lingerie, suggested pretty much anything a guy can ever dream of... And he's not interested in any of that. So, now its like just whatever.

First things first - and this is important: You're not doing anything wrong, and wanting sex daily wouldn't be wanting it too much for normal, healthy adults in your age range - nor even for folks 2 or 3 times your age!
So he's making excuses, and the question is, "Why?" This not wanting sex is new? What's changed?
I'll tell you what it sounds like, and it's already been mentioned but I'll say it again: the porn.
Your hubby has gotten lazy and decided he can pleasure himself without making the effort to involve another human being in the act.
And that is just about as selfish and self-centered as you can get.
Now what can you do about it?
Talk to him about it; first off, you should ask him, and yourself, why you should stay around a guy who is not only not affectionate, but who has no interest in having sex with you?
Do it as calmly and non-accusingly as you can, but ask him: "Why should I stay? What am I to you?"
Maybe you can wake him up.
Best of luck to you;
- TR

Sounds like me. Tried everything but nothing has helped and we have been married for 20 years. If you don't want to be miserable for the rest of your life and you have tried everything you can including talking to him, get out before it is to late.