Husband Doesnt Want Sex
My husband never acts like he wants sex or never comes on to me.. Some women might view this as a blessing but it really hurts my feelings... He complains that I want sex to much but I seriously doubt wanting sex once or twice a week is to much... Any advice?? :/
Does he masturbate a lot or his is drive for any kind of release all together gone? If he's masturbating frequently... thats probably why he doesn't need sex as much as you do. If he isn't... perhaps he needs to have a physical? How old is he? Is he on any medications or under a lot of stress? Alcohol? Drugs? Problems at work, with family or with you? Is he still affectionate in other ways besides sex or has he pulled back there too?
Was he always like this or is this a new behavior?
Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.
He's 19, and military.. So, he's always been under some stress at work.. And he's not an affectionate person to much, he never has been.. But the sex thing.. This is new. I dont know if he masterbates alot or not, he doesn't tell me but I have found porn on his computer..
I thought i was the only one having that problem. My husband could go a year without i think. He never initiates sex with me, he just sits back and huffs and puffs everytime i make the suggestion. I am right there with you on it hurting the feelings. I dont have to have it all the time but i sure dont want my feelings hurt when i do want it. My husband takes blood pressure pilss and an allergy pill everyday, i dont know if that has anything to do with it or not.Originally Posted by MrsSammons
I hope someone on here can give some advice because i havent figured out anything. This has been going on about a year with my hubby. Actually ever since we started college, but he isnt too stressed about that because i do all his work for him. I hope your situation gets better and if have any improvements please let me know.
Men with no or low libido should start with a physical and get their testosterone levels checked. Low testosterone will not only affect your sex life but can contribute to a host of health problems.
We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer
Exactly correct WC! and exactly what I would have suggested as well!
...also wonder if he has been deployed recently? There is a period of time when you get back from combat (speaking from experience here) and just don't feel like doing anything - Its when everything that occured over there is starting to "sink-in".
Initially when getting back it's hot and heavy, but again after a few weeks, it all starts coming back....
If this is the case - recently back from combat, and you think it could be a depression thing (doesnt feel like he deserves any kind of pleasure/or desires it) he should talk with someone immediately or it could go on for a very long time - years or life.
Colorado
And in answer to the second part of your question: no, once or twice a week isn't too often - shoot, once or twice a DAY isn't too often, and if he is 19 also, I'd think he ought to be thinking about sex at about 15-second intervals...
I agree with you very much, though he saw the porn, I am sure he must have a way to release. I doubt he has another sex partner. I am sorry to say that.
Last edited by clumsygirl; 12-11-2010 at 04:19 AM.
English is not my mother language, so forgive me if i make you confused.
Don't know about this situation in particular, but I can share my perspective. Sex with a woman is one of those things that a guy looks forward to all of his life. So he has an expectation that it will be the most exhilarating experience he has or ever will have. And that when he is with that special woman, she will be his queen, and offer herself totally to him. If she doesn't, he is kind of stuck with whatever he gets, unless he wants to go down the messing around or divorce road, which to me is unacceptable. So monagamous marriage, for me, is the only way. So a guy is pretty much limited to one partner for the rest of his life. Fair enough, but to me it's like eating at the same restaurant every time. So then if the lady doesn't prepare herself for the guy to really enjoy it, it's kind of a why bother experience. Again, I don't know anything about this couple. But my situation is my wife just doesn't seem to understand that if a guy can only have one partner that she needs to really be THE BEST partner she can be. With me it's like she grudgingly does certian things, like working out once in a great while, thinking that's got to be good enough. Well, it's not. Again, my case only here. But it's like she just can't understand why I just don't get all hot and bothered every time she makes some little comment about it. I'm just really unimpressed and totally bored with the whole thing. She puts her heart and soul into msot everything she does, except for preparing her body - getting herself into really good shape - and letting me have her. Even with her the way she is she won't let me do anything but pretty much the plain vanilla routine. Some kissing, then manual stimulation, then me on top, then it's over, sometimes before I am happy. My buddy gets bored and he checks out. Everything else is "strange" in her words.
Last edited by WFO; 12-11-2010 at 11:32 AM.
I've tried everything I can to make it interesting. I've read books, tried lingerie, suggested pretty much anything a guy can ever dream of... And he's not interested in any of that. So, now its like just whatever.
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