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Thread: my girlfriend says she does not masturbate but i don't believe her....

  1. #1
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    Smile my girlfriend says she does not masturbate but i don't believe her....

    hi my girlfriend of about a yr and half , told me that she does not masturbate , i think other wise ....
    when we make love she plays with my nipples and when i go down on her and give her oral she loves it only on her clitoris she told me that she's doesn't like being penetrated with fingers ... one other night she was in bed before me and had her hand in her panties and was feeling very horny so when i put my hand down her panties she was very aroused and wet ... she likes me masturbating her ... does she masturbate and is to imbaressed to tell me i would find it a huge turn to know she did ... she has had only 3 partners before and i'm the third she has been seperated fo close to 9 yrs and seen this other man for a short while and was single for a year before me so a women how has been with very few men and the absence of regular sex , must masturbate or be lying about her sexual partners ...

    am i right or wrong to think this
    p.s i do love her truly but the thought lying to me about either annoys me

  2. #2
    WH Assistant Head Moderator Array LanaBear's Avatar
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    She could be embarrassed. There is a social stigma regarding women masturbating and it being inappropriate.

    However, if it doesn't bother you one way or another if she does masturbate and if the possibility of her masturbating doesn't interfere with your sex life, then, why does it matter.

    Leave it be, IMO.
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  3. #3
    WH MODERATOR Array Beautiful Disaster's Avatar
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    Agree with LB. Masturbation is a private thing and should only be shared with a partner if both agree and want to share it. It takes many women years to feel comfortable enough to masturbate by themselves, much less feel comfortable enough to talk about it. Also, keep in mind that not EVERYONE masturbates. Some women truly don't do it.

    If you fixate on this with her, you'll likely just cause her to be more withdrawn about it. With time and love, comes more trust and comfort. If you two are meant to be and stay together, perhaps she'll open up a bit to it in the future. For now, take her at her word and leave her be.

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  4. #4
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    If you can't trust or believe your GF (the woman you love), then who can you?

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    Only she knows.
    Try getting her to guide your fingers with her hand- especially when she is getting close.
    Tell her you want to make things better for her using this as guidance.
    Give her verbal encouragement when she does this -saying how exited it makes you.
    Slowly work your way into it over months. Dont try to achieve it over one weekend.

  6. #6
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    Don't be annoyed with her. Women tend not to be as open about masturbation as men are. When my husband and I first got together it took me a while before I finally admitted to him that I masturbated. First, because I was embarrassed about it, and second, because I thought he would be bothered by it. It turned out to be quite the opposite, though. When we finally broached the subject, it was like the last wall between us was down, and our sex life only improved. Don't press her on it. She'll come around in her own time. You might try to demystify the subject by talking casually and without embarrassment about your own masturbation history -- when you started, how you do it, how important it's been to you. That might help open her up -- letting her hear what a normal part of life it is. From your description, I would guess that she probably has masturbated. She seems to know her way around down there, and she was separated after having a sexual partner -- once you've had orgasms, I think it's hard to stop having them. But it is possible that she genuinely does not masturbate -- masturbation is quite common among women but' it's not as universal as it is among men. One of my dearest friends never masturbated until she was in her 40s, and newly divorced.

  7. #7
    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array Airmans Sweetie's Avatar
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    it is very possible that she doesn't, i don't in all honesty. nothing at all about it turns me on when i do that, never has. if my husband does it to me though, it's a different story.
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