Thread: How Do I Turn Her Down?

Originally Posted by WildChild

TRed I know there is more to your story and I understand why you would prefer not to get into this. Can you simply say that you aren't feeling well, are tired and need to sleep?
What do you think is up with her wanting to actually sleep in your bed with you? That sounds different.

idk what was up - maybe the martinis? - but by the time she actually did come to bed, I had the lights out and feigned sleep, That worked. She got up and left a couple minutes later.
I had been right though; not only did she come into "my" bed - the master bedroom, which is where I've been sleeping the past week since I've been on crutches - but she was "nekkid" as we say around here!
Still not hard to turn down...
Remains to be seen what that was all about; I'll find out if she brings it up today. Odds are she won't though.

My question is what are you going to do about this long term? This doesn't sound like any way to spend your marriage....live happily ever after with someone you love. If she has rejected you sexually for a long time, I can totally understand you losing your sexual interest in her, and even more so if she only periodically uses you for an orgasm. But somethings gotta give dude........

What I don't understand if you are this unhappy why don't you just leave? I am not normally someone who advocates this but it seems to me neither one of you WANT to work on it. You seem unwilling to work towards changing it, and from what bits and pieces you mention of her she seems unwilling to listen or talk about it.
I know it is a vicious cycle, my marriage was in it for awhile.... My husband was unsatisfied in the bedroom (we only would have sex a couple times a year) and when we did it was awkward.. His feeling was "why should he try and when his needs weren't being met", and I felt why should I "meet his needs" when I didn't like how he was treating me.
It's a two way street we had to both try, and it had to be a earnest try. We are doing much better now, things aren't perfect and I know he would like it a little more often right now but he knows I can't b/c I'm injured and he is being patient. Bottom line is you need to both WANT to try to fix things if not then there is no point to the two of you staying together, life is short and you both deserve to be happy.

Originally Posted by sallyskellington

What I don't understand if you are this unhappy why don't you just leave? I am not normally someone who advocates this but it seems to me neither one of you WANT to work on it. You seem unwilling to work towards changing it....

I'm staying around because I have a son to raise. I was very willing to work on changing things, but that takes two people, and only one of us thought things needed changing...

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