Thread: How Do I Turn Her Down?

I need some advice fast! Some of you know my situation already, more or less. My wife and I haven't had sex in many months.
I may be completely mistaken, but I think I'm getting "signals" from my wife tonight, if you know what I mean!

What do I do?
I can honestly say, I've lost interest in playing her bedtime games: should I fake it? Just say I've got a headache???
I just don't want to participate in what I know will be a disappointing experience, for me at least, What do I do? Please give me an idea quickly!

Can you possibly just tell her that after not having it for so long, you don't feel like it anymore?

OK, first of all TR, why can't you just talk to her about whatever is bothering you about your sex life? Or have you tried that already? Sorry I may have missed the thread about whatever your particular situation is.

But, for a quick solution... can't you just tell her you're not in the mood? I mean it's not like she can force you if you don't want it. Faking illness and avoiding the real issue hardly seems like a good solution, it can only cause more problems down the line IMO.

As I've mentioned before, my wife seems to have no interest in sex (with me) at all, and in the past year, I think we've had sex 2 times, Neither of which were what I'd call satisfactory, though they were for her. Now this evening we were out at a local pub with friends, we all had a good time, and on the way home and at home, I'm getting distinct "signals" - some less subtle than others. Like she told me she wants to sleep in my bed tonight. That would be the first time this year!
But I frankly have lost interest in this game of hers - it's always over when SHE's satisfied, which never takes very long, and I'm left to my own devices, so to speak. And I'm tired of that.
What do I do? Turn her down outright? Just turn the other way and start snoring?
Or do I play the silly game one more time so she doesn't suspect that I have outside interests?
I know how stupid this sounds, but it's my life and I'm stuck with it.

Yea, what Kris said, just roll over and go to sleep..

Originally Posted by waya

Can you possibly just tell her that after not having it for so long, you don't feel like it anymore?

Yep, I can; that'd sorta be the end of things though, wouldn't it?

Be honest then, dude. Say 'I feel like whenever we do this it's all about your needs and I'm tired of feeling used and neglected.'

Go and jump in that bed and have fun. Don't stop until you're satisfied.

Originally Posted by kristalyn04

OK, first of all TR, why can't you just talk to her about whatever is bothering you about your sex life? Or have you tried that already? Sorry I may have missed the thread about whatever your particular situation is.

But, for a quick solution... can't you just tell her you're not in the mood? I mean it's not like she can force you if you don't want it. Faking illness and avoiding the real issue hardly seems like a good solution, it can only cause more problems down the line IMO.

Talking to her is something I tried a long time ago - a year ago; didn't get anywhere, didn't resolve anything. We talked and talked, but nothing changed,


Going to try the roll over/go to sleep thing. With luck I'll be asleep before she gets to the bedroom.
Thanks y'all.

Originally Posted by Texasred

I know how stupid this sounds, but it's my life and I'm stuck with it.

You're only stuck with it if you choose to be stuck with it. Again, have you tried talking to her about this?