Thread: Porn, a blessing or a curse in relationships?

Originally Posted by funlovingmale

(edit)

This makes me a little disillusioned and sexually frustrated - a place I would not have come to without porn. Does anyone relate?

Porn is not real life. WANTING, not expecting (there IS a difference), your wife to try new things with you is normal. Wanting them because you saw them in porn... and expect her to be like the women in movies is as silly as her feeling dissapointed with your marriage because of some sandra bullock movie she sawwhere the husband is picking her up in helecopters and leaving diamonds in her morning muffins and you not living up to that.

Understand that the things those women are ooo'ing and ahhhing about in porn, are things they are being paid to do, being paid to look like they enjoy for entertainment of others. Instead of watching porn, especially if you have trouble seperating what is fake and what is real... you should talk to your wife, listen to her when you make love to her... ask her what feels good , ask her if she would like to try x, y, or z... because its something you want to try to please her with.. not cause you saw it in a movie.

Not every women is going to beam with joy for double penetration, even if the porn stars look like they LOVE it... not every woman is going to want anal...etc. I think porn can be DEVISTATING to a relationship if 1. The man is using it as a substitute for sex with a person while in a relationship with someone that wants to have sex with them. and 2. When a man can't seperate reality from fiction and thinks that everything they see a woman moan about in porn is something any woman would actually enjoy.

Originally Posted by funlovingmale

Does she not wish to please me? I certainly wish to please her!

In the way you have spoken here... if you treat her at all the way your words come across ... you may be stripping her of any organic desires to pleasure you and turning it into a chore. Contrary to what you may think most women want to satisfy their man, make him feel good... but she needs to feel wanted, loved, special and appreciated in order to feel good about doing that.

If you make her feel like its her duty to make you feel good... that right there would knock the desire out of me. Married or not, any act of pleasure a partner gives a partner (male or female) is a gift, shouldn't be taken for granted... and should never be "expected" especially things that push one partner out of their comfort zone. She should not be 'expected' to try perverted acts you saw in porn, unless its something she truly wants to try out... but let me tell you this... if you start your sentence with ... but but... but... I saw it in a porno and that girl seemed to like it fine!! You're going to be working up hill to get her interested.

Women do not like to feel like they are having to live up to your jerk off material.

Originally Posted by sidneyalive

Do consider it your wifes place place to " entertain" you ??

The problem with porn is what you already brought up, you watch all these things and then don't understand why your wife doesn't want to do them..

X2
Porn is nothing like the real world, and what you see there has nothing whatsoever to do with making love.

CW:Thanks for your insight. Double drats for editing out my opening joke which I thought was an ideal catalyst for debate, albeit a bit crass! In the context of how I perceive you to perceive me (selfish porn inspired pervert) I agree with virtually all you have written! There is a fine line between wanting to please yourself by pleasing your lover and being selfish. I see you paint me on the 'wrong' side! The thrust of my enquiry is about impact of porn on relationships and not my fantasies which may never come into fruition! I am not seeking to be controversial or crass, only candid so that you can better understand where I'm coming from.