Thread: No Sex Drive?

I love my husband more than anything in the world. And there's nothing more that I want to do than to make him feel good about himself. And obviously with men, a woman must do this through sex. Unfortunately, since the birth of daughter three years ago, my sex drive has completely diminished. The thought of sex repulses me and the only thing that keeps me going is knowing that my husband loves it.

Another unfortunate aspect is that I'm VERY insecure about my body. So I'm weary to try anything new. So sex to my husband has become boring. I'm only 22, so I don't see why my sex drive is so low. I want nothing more than to be able to orgasm with my husband. But I just can't. I used to be able to... but now I'm screwed.

Oh, another thing, my husband's currently in Afghanistan and he likes to talk dirty online... but I'm not really sure how to go about doing this. It just feels awkward. How can I overcome this as well??

No pun intended.

Right now you're dealing with a barage of insecurity which you'll soon see, makes EVERYTHING difficult. Sure, talking dirty is going to seem awkward when you have no sex drive and don't feel sexual. I think it's common for women to struggle with feeling sexual after they have a child. But considering it's been three years, it's time to get a hold of this before it gets out of hand.

Orgasms for us gals are more than just physical stimulation. If we are mentally or emotionally distracted, orgasm is almost impossible to achieve. Or at least it is for me. I wouldn't be overly concerned about the lack of orgasm just yet because of course you're not going to be able to relax enough to orgasm when you don't want sex to begin with. First try to figure out why sex repulses you. Talk with your OBGYN about it. Are you taking birth control of some sort (birth control pills are known by many users to deplete libido). How is your relationship with your husband aside from sex? Does he make you feel loved, cherished, appreciated? Does he help with the baby and with things around the home when he's there?

As for your body, we all have insecurities. Exercising and eating right is the only thing that will get your body to its peak. But besides that, your husband obviously is attracted to you. If he weren't, don't you think he could just look at porn and have a dirty webchat with a stranger? He WANTS that from you because he is sexually attracted to you. I think most guys would agree, a confident woman who is curvy, has some stretch marks and some cellulite here or there is MUCH more attractive than a bikini model who is insecure.

Hi
From this board see the following thread
http://www.womens-health.com/boards/...fes-libido.htm
Google fish oil and Libido

During pregnancy and breastfeeding the baby will deplete the mothers omega3 levels for its own brain development
Omega3 -Fish oils is a one stop shop for brain health and body health.

I think I can help on one part of your current situation.
Of all things that turn me on the most, and I have admitted this to others: Talking dirty online gets me all hot and steamy.

The first thing that you have to overcome, since you are insecure about your body and he is ALL the way over there is: No matter what you look like, he is coming to YOU for his jollies. He is thinking about YOU, because he's talking to YOU and petting his man-meat while doing it. Once you've got the handle on that then we can move on to making it hot and steamy for you. As for the awkwardness, it will go away with a little bit of time. Just think of it like this: If he was at home, you would be doing all of this stuff (even though you don't have a sex drive ATM) because he loves it. Well, he is doing this because he needs it and secretly I think he thinks it might help you in your department.

But moving on--
To start with, just relax, get some juice or some hot tea and sit at the computer, then start slowly. Talk about how you like kissing him, because I'm sure, even with a low libido, you enjoy kissing your husband.
Then role play a little bit. Talk about what used to turn you on, how you used to like it when he paid specific attention to certain part of your body. Talk about what you like about his body, what you want to do with it when you get it home.
You know?
Once you get over the initial...uncomfortableness of it, it should become a fun way to relieve stress.

Good luck sweety!